shane’s blog

Hello everyone. It’s been awhile since I’ve updated this her blog. I’m still among the living, but it’s been hectic around here. Where to start, is the ultimate question. The beginning would be nice, eh? lol! Anyhow. The move was a huge success. I moved into the new place on Monday february 5, 2007, in the middle of a fuckin’ blizzard. I swear to god, that was the worst driving conditions that I have ever had to deal with in my entire life. I swear to god that if I ever have to move again, it’s not going ot be in the middle of the winter, if I have anything to say about it! Once things got moved in, that crap started. I called bell sympatico, our DSL provider to check on the status of my activation for the internet, and was told by the automated system that activation would be on february 8, 2007.
Ok, fine, fine, whatever. As long as we get activated. I went to school that night and returned home Tuesday morning, because I felt like absolute shit.
Spent the day at home, getting boxes unpacked, and things like that. I went out at around 2PM to get some basic groceries, and price choppers is my best friend.
I swear to god, I had to have spent $60.00 on cabs alone during monday and Tuesday alone.
Cabs can really kick your ass financially if your not careful. *grin*
Friday is where it gets interesting.
I called bell canada because my modem had just arrived, and I hooked it all up, and when I went to use the activation CD, I was only seing 2 out of 3 lights on the modem.
Called bell, and started raising absolute hell, come to find out that activation wasn’t scheduled for the 12th the following monday.
I’m not going to bore you with the rest of the details on that issue.
I’ll write later.

Hello everyone. It’s been awhile since I’ve posted an actual blog post. Over a month I believe. A lot has happened over these past months. This is going to be one long post, so sit back and enjoy! My company shaneD.net hosting services endured two server attacks witch we recovered nicely from. While dealing with those, my relationship with rose took a turn for the better. I finally got up the courage to tell my parents about rose and myself and our plans to move in together. To my astonishment and joy, both parents were supportive of me 100%. They really wanted to meet Rose, so I started putting things in place for Rose to come over for the Christmas Holidays. After a few setbacks regarding transportation, as of Monday, Rose is going to spend the Christmas holidays at my house! I’m happy to say Rose will finally have a christmas holiday to remember for the rest of her life. The past two years for her have been hell at Christmas time, and I vowed that this year would be different, and I’m proud to say I’ve been able to make that happen! We’ve had some crap from the school administration, but persistance has paid off and the school is finally understanding that this relationship is much much more than a game. I’m not playing around, I’m dead serious about this relationship, and no matter what I am told, I will be their until the death do us part. This is god’s will, and god’s calling for me to be apart of this wonderful girl’s life, and I thank god every waking moment for her. She’s the joy in my life. She’s been my rock when I’ve needed someone. She’s picked me up when I’ve hit rock bottom. She’s kicked my ass when I’ve needed it. She’s the reason I carry on each and every day. Everyone might call me strange for writing this, but let me tell you dear reader one thing, I’ve been better with her. She’s my all. God has brought us together and made it possible for us to stick by each other through it all. We had a rocky start but god made this all possible, and nothing else will ever break us apart.
I’d like to share a little something with you all. Something I wrote about two months ago. I never thought I could write this, but god’s hand was involved with this, and I’d like to share it with you all.
Begin poem.
True relationships never really die
And family isn’t defined by blood
It’s made strong by bonds that won’t break
Tempered and tested by trials and pain
what you mean to me is more than words can describe
you’ve been loyal to me from the beginning
And no matter what happens between this moment and then
I shall be always thankful to have you in my life.
You’ve been their when I’ve needed someone to talk to
you’ve been their when I’ve needed a hsolder to cry on.
When things got tough, you were always their, ready to help, and assist me.
You made me see my errors and helped me fix them
you brought me to an understanding that I’ve never had.
You’ve showed me what it means to be loved and what love really means.
It’s not the words or the intimacy that defines what love is.
it’s the closeness, the bond between two people, that make love what love is.
You’ve showed me what it means to be happy, to have someone who truly loves me.
When I asked you that day way back when, I expected to be rejected, to be pushed away because of who I was, what I had done in the past.
Not you. You excepted me for who I was.
You didn’t ask me to change who I was, to change my personality to suit your needs.
You became my rock, my everything.
You are the reason I continue to carry on through the tough times.
You are the reason I want to get up in the morning.
You are my strength, my shield, my all.
Without you, I don’t know where I’d be.
I love you, and will love you forever and ever.
End poem.
Dear blog reader, as you read through that little piece of writing, I hope that makes you understand my true feelings for the one I truly love, and will do whatever it takes, even death, to protect her and make sure she is cared for. It’s been almost a year for us both, and it feels like we’ve known each other our entire lives. I’ve shared things with Rose that I never thought I’d ever share with anyone my entire life.
This has turned into a long post, but it’s not overyet.
A lot of people have said to me that I’d never be able to succeed in a relationship, I’d never have someone that cared about me. That is not true, and if the contents of this entry doesn’t prove that, I don’t know what will. I’m not going to take anyone’s crap, I’ve worked way too hard to leave now. I still remember the night, back in February of 2006, and I remember it all like it was yesterday. I still remember the day in March when things got nasty, and we had to rethink it, it hurt me, and I thought god had let me down again. As the saying goes, things have to get worse before they get better. When Rose approached me in July, and asked me if I wanted to be her boyfriend again, I had to seriously think about it. I’d been hurt before, and I wasn’t ready to be hurt again. I took two weeks and thought, and praid about it. I asked god to guide me in what to do, and he has done so. We’re together, and I’m not leaving, ever! I’ve said it before, and I’ll continue to say so time and time again. I love that girl to pieces and I’d do anything to make her happy, whatever it took. Those who know me well, know that when I say something, I mean it. When I say I’m going to be here, and you can count on me, and I would do anything to save and protect someone, you can bet your ass that I mean it! When it comes to things like this I don’t joke around. I’ve already delt with one loser who decided to screw with me and my relationship. They were dealt with harshly, and lord help him if he ever screws with me and my girl, again! If he does, so help me god, it’ll be the last thing he ever does! This isn’t very nice of me, but if I have to kill him to protect hir, I will! I really hope he learned his lesson the last time, so it won’t have to come to that, but if it does, then so be it! I’d rather see him dead then hurt the one I’ve sworn to protect and charish. We may not be married, but you can bet your paycheck that if we have our way, it’s going to happen.
We’ve already discussed the matter, grin, and it’s what we want. What else can I say folks, besides what’s already been said here. It’s reality and that’s life. I’m not going to leave just because crap gets rough. That’s not me, and anyone who knows me at all should know that by now. If you don’t then, I’m sorry to say you are officially stupid and demented in the head. I know your all probably calling me stupid because of the length of this post and your probably calling me stupid for me writing my feelings about the one I love. Well, to bad for you, it’s my blog, and I’ll write about whatever I feel like. You can like it or lump it. No matter, it’s my blog and I’ll write about what I want to write about and if you don’t like it, well, then you can just shove off. I’ve really got nothing else to say.
Before I go, let me just say one more thing.
I thank god each and every day for the people in my life. I thank him for bringing me and Rose together and keeping us together through it all. I thank him for people like Kelly, Kevin, hailey, Emily, and everyone else who has stuck by us both and givin the both of us support and advice when we’ve needed it. Without you guys, I’m not sure where I’d be.
Their hav been times where I’ve wanted to just give up on god and the whole relationship thing, but something told me to stick it out, and one day I’d find someone. And boy was everyone rright on the money! Not everyone are complete jerks, and their are people that give a crap. in this world.
Rose hasnt’ cared about my differences. She excepts me for who I am. She doesn’t ask me to change to suit her needs and wants, and I don’t expect her to change for me. When their’s a problem we sit and talk it out and not fight over it. I’ve learned that I don’t have to be scared to bring situations to her attention, and I’m thankful for that comfort.
Well, that’s all I have to right.
Thanks all.
May the lord bless you and keep you safe.
May heaven smile upon you, and with you I am praying.
Until next time folks.

This is probably going to be the longest entry in my live journal history. Enjoy!
What a night!
Good morning.
Ladies and gentlemen, what a night I had last night! You see, it all started sometime in August, actually it was like 12:30 in the morning, when an instant message from rose popped up, asking to talk to me. The first thing that went through my mind was uh oh, what did I do now! It turned out that I didn’t do anything wrong, but she just wanted to talk. She started asking strange questions such as what I liked to eat, what restaurants I liked to go to, what gifts I liked to receive, stuff like that. I’m sitting their going, what in god’s name is going on here, there’s got to be something going on here, and nobodies telling me anything! So I started snooping around, asking the people I knew, nobody had any idea, I asked dan, faith’s boyfriend, and it turned out that Faith had been asking just about the same questions of him that Rose had been asking of me that night. So it turned out that the both of them were scheming something, and us boys, as usual, *grin*, were left in the dark. You can bet I tried, and tried my hardest to get Rose to tell me what the heck she was up to, but I finally gave up, because I knew I wasn’t going to get her to tell me anything, nothing at all about what she was scheming. Dan wasn’t that easily stopped, he kept trying, even after I told him to just leave it alone, that it was no use, we weren’t going to get anything out of our girls, not a thing. Then last Saturday, that beeing September 9, Rose calls me up and brings faith into the conversation, and here’s what happened.
I was first asked what I was doing this Wednesday, and me being in the house, I honestly said I had no clue, but if she needed some time, I could make it happen, without question. She said it didn’t matter, she wanted me Wednesday, no matter what. Now I was getting a little scared, and nervous. I asked what was wrong, and I was told nothing was wrong. Then I was asked if I had anything nice to wear, nothing extremely formal, no suit and tie, just something nice to wear. I said I did but I’d have to do laundry. I was told to do it, and make sure I had the outfit with me this week. The final thing I was told was that no money was required. I asked, ok, this is all fine and dandy, but we’ve got one problem, the staff in the house are going to ask where I am going, how I am getting there, ETC. I was told that I didn’t have to worry, that it would all be taken care of.
Then Tuesday, that being September 12, I was told that I had to be ready for 4:30PM the following day.
OK, so now I know what time, but still nothing else. Great!
Let’s move to Yesterday, that being Wednesday, September 13.
Ok, so Wednesday arrives, and I’m still in the dark, and everyone , but me and Dan, knows what’s going on! So after school, I hightail my rear end back to the house, nervous as can be, I had a load of laundry to start, I still had to shave and shower, and not even 45 minutes to do it all in! Great! I got the laundry going, with a little help from Ms. Rutin, because of my time restrictions, then I hightailed my rear end down the hall, and took the fastest shower ever known to man! After showering, I started shaving, and was right in the middle of shaving, when I realized, to my annoyance, that I had left my backpack, in my locker! oopsies!
So, I put down my shaver, and after muttering a few choice words, with only like 15 minutes until rose was scheduled to pick me up, I literally flew down the hall, grabbed my shoes, cane, and ran, yes, outright ran, all the way to the school, out of breath, grabbed my bag, and ran like someone with his pants on fire, back to the house. Now, before I continue, let’s say, running with a cane, is a royal pain, but it can be done, and I did it! Without crashing once!
Anyhow, back at the house, I hollered for Ms. Rutin, because my laundry load was done, and I didn’t have time to both finish shaving, complete dressing, and change my laundry load, with like 10 minutes to go!
Ms. Rutin was nice, and gave me a hand, by changing my load for me, bless her heart, and I completed shaving and started to dress, but then I realized, again to my utter annoyance, me still being in the bathroom after shaving, and being half dressed, that I had forgotten to bring clean socks into the bathroom! Being in my underwear, I cracked the door open, and hollered for herve, he comes running, and I ask him to get me a clean pair of socks from my dresser, he gives me them, I finish dressing, and as I am putting things away, “nock nock nock” goes the front door!
I finish putting things away, and run, down the hall, and elbow the button to open the door, and I’m putting on my shoes, and grabbing my cane, and then turn and holler, I’m leaving, and then I leave.

Faith and Dan and Rose are standing outside, and Faith asks me for the use of my phone, so I let her, and at there request, I take Dan away so she could call the transportation.
Let’s skip the transportation ride there, because it was boring as rides get.
So we arrive at our destination, and the cab driver goes, here we are, at the army barracks!
I have to laugh, we get out, and we walk towards the door, and head inside.
Now, at this time I have figured out where we are. we had arrived, at, Red Lobster! Yeah, you heard me right, you didn’t read that wrong, I did say red Lobster! I hadn’t been there in ages, but I wasn’t expecting to actually get to go! We took our places, and got our drinks, me drinking ice tea, and the rest of them drinking good ol’ coke. They didn’t have Braille menus, so the waitress, who’s name was Julie, was kind enough to read the menu for us. I had a tossup between the popcorn shrimp meal, and the fish and chip meal. Well, I finally decided on the popcorn shrimp meal. It arrived, and my oh my, does this place ever know how to dish out the food! The plate was huge! But I ate it all! All of it!

That wasn’t the end of it, you see, I like cheesecake, oh do I ever! I really wasn’t paying attention, I was looking the other way, not really paying attention to what rose faith and the waitress were talking about, I turn back, and I found a plate sitting there, so I explore it, because that’s what us blind people do, we explore plates to find out what’s on them!

can you guess what was on said plate? Can you? Can you? Can you? I asked, can you? Ok, enough teasing, there was this huge, really, huge, slice of cheesecake sitting there! It was a triangle, and it was like half the size of the plate! I ate the whole thing! call me a pig, but I was told to indulge myself, so that’s what I did, and to bad for you!
Now, who paid the bill, you ask, if I didn’t bring money with me?
Well, rose paid for it, mine and hers! I love that girl to pieces, and I’d do anything for her, I’d die for her if it were going to save her life, and she knows it, but I wasn’t expecting that! I know she cares, and I guess I shouldn’t complain, I’ve done a lot for her over the past year and a half, I’ve been there when she’s needed someone to talk to, I’ve been the shoulder when she’s needed a shoulder to cry on, I’ve been the one to pick her up when she falls, I could go on and on for hours. It brings tears to my eyes to know that someone actually cares enough to do what she did for me, without question, with know care about money, she did it because she cares, and I know that, but it’s just hard to realize that I’ve finally found someone that actually
cares about me, and excepts me for who I am, and doesn’t leave because I screw up, doesn’t criticize me for the little things, and when something’s wrong, she’s always there, she picks me up when I fall, she’s the person I go to when I’m not feeling good, she’s the shoulder I cry on when I’m upset, and the one I call when I just need to talk. She’s always there, no matter what, not asking for a thing in return. There aren’t words to describe the gratitude and the love and affection I feel for rose. I know she’s there, and she knows I’m there, and we’re always there for each other. In all the other relationships I’ve been in it’s always been me, me, me, me! I’m the one there, and when I needed someone to go to, the other person was never there! That’s not the case now, and I’ve always asked myself, and still do, where was rose all those years ago when I really needed someone? I really can’t find words to thank her enough for what she’s done in the past, for what she did for me last night, and what she will continue to do for me. She doesn’t ask questions, when I need to talk, she always makes the time, she doesn’t make excuses, oh I’ve got other things to do, if she has the time, and I need to talk, she’s there for me. I’ve said it before, and I will say it again, I love that girl, more than words can describe, and nothing, will, ever, change, that! If I have my way, the only thing that will part us will be the day I die. Everyone says, why do you bother with her, she’s not worth it. Let me tell you one thing, she’s done more for me than anyone ever has and will ever do. I’ve asked god to guide me in the right direction, and god has answered my prayers and brought rose and me together, and has kept us going. He may not have done it right away, but he did answer my prayers, and I thank god for that. Without rose, I really don’t know where I’d be at this point, I really don’t.
I thank you all for reading, and have a wonderful, blessed, Geezus filled day, and with you I am praying.
Talk to you all soon.