1. Shane’s on a bus heading back to Ottawa.
2. I’m emotionally fucking wiped right out.
3. As a result of the above, I’m ready to stuff my foot up the ass of the next person who anoys me.
4. For the love of whatever may or may not be holy, please don’t let it be one of you.
5. Packing in a holy fuck hurry results in you not nowing where in the hell half your shit is. don’t try it at… well…no, you won’t try it at home.
6. If something doesn’t go right soon, I’m gonna snap and probably end up in the hospital getting downers by IV until they can find something they don’t have to shoot me up with that won’t make me a spaceshot.
7. Related: Murphy, back the fuck off or I’m gonna die and go wherever you are just for the sole purpose of kickin’ your ass, then I’ll reincarnate as a cat. (Preferably a spoiled and well-love one like mine.)
8. The visuals I could provide you with if Shane doesn’t get a work visa for the states could curl your toes, make your eyes water and essentially make you cry like a little girl and run away.
9. Also, a note to whatever cabbie drove me to a friend’s place for the night, I can shut the door myself thank you, there’s really no need to shut it on me, no, really, I promise. You’re quite lucky you missed and didn’t nail me in the rib cage because I would’ve called your manager and he and I would’ve had a conversation.
In summary, now that I’ve been sitting here spewing brain vomit all over the place, I feel somewhat kinda sorta more human. Now, let’s not have anything else turn into a royal fucking clusterfuck please and thank you? Good thing flip-a-shit-ometers are not actually physical devices, I’d've had to replace about 10 over the last week.
1. Shane’s on a bus heading back to Ottawa.
Yarfing all over the blog again to prevent me using something as a projectile that I shouldn’t. Screen readers, wanna skip it? H to jump to the next heading is your happyfriend, sighties, use those mice like they were intended.
I have officially hit the point where “I can’t fucking take it any fucking more,” writes, publishes, and sells the book on exactly how I feel right now. You, person, can sit there and lah lah lah, I’m nooooot liiiiiiistening, while I complain for months and months and months, on end, about mold. Filth. Dirty living conditions. Disrespectful treatment of my family. Ok, maybe sometimes my mother deserves it. But my grandmother didn’t deserve to have a spray bottle yanked out of her hand last year, nor did she deserve to be screamed and yelled at by the student who was my roommate at that time.
Nobody deserves to be ignored when your job is to help them. Nobody deserves to sit there in the middle of February, freezing their tits off in the middle of the night, while you sleep at home in your nice cozy warm bed. Why was I freezing in the middle of the night in mid February? Because the mold smell in my room was so awful that I had to keep the window open 24/7 just so I didn’t throw up! But as long as you’re happy, nobody else has to be happy, right? Obviously, that’s how certain people think. I’m not saying anymore here, because I fear for my personal safety and mental health. I honestly thought briefly about checkin’ myself into a hospital and gettin’ some downers shoved down my face. Only reason I didn’t do it was because it’d get people involved who didn’t need to be involved and hopefully won’t need to. I’m sick of discrimination. I’m sick of favoritism. I’m sick of ass-covering, and I’m sick of people simply NOT DOING THEIR BLOODY JOBS! No. I can’t take it anymore. We thank Shane for not allowing me alcohol this evening because if I had my choice, I’d go get stupidly drunk, induce alcohol poisoning because I have no tolerance, and end myself up in the hospital. We also thank my friend Minh for allowing me to crash on her spare bed. We don’t thank certain officials for putting me in a precarious position. I lived in a precarious position all summer long. I didn’t really wanna have to live in a mentally unhealthy unstable environment for the rest of my life. Thanks, people, you’ve ruined me.
But no, you don’t care. Of course you don’t care. Especially certain individuals who can sit on their couch and eat ice cream while a blind student lives in an unhealthy, unsafe environment, and the people who are supposed to help her aren’t doing anything about it. You had plenty of opportunities. Is it simply the fact that you hate me because I needed your help? Do you not like your job? Are you that unhappy in your career that you won’t help someone who’s getting urinary tract infections because her roommate’s living habits are causing them? I believe you are. And I will be bringing that up at my earliest opportunity. You had all the opportunity in the world last year to prove you were on my side. Obviously, you weren’t. That, is called favoritism. You let someone else make me sick while you plugged your ears, turned away from me, and pretended I didn’t exist! You didn’t care! And now that someone called you out on it, all of a sudden, you want me as far out of your face as you can get me. Because to you, as long as it looks like you’re doing your job on the books, and you’re getting paid for it, it doesn’t matter what you’re doing or how other people feel.
Oh god no. This place? Care? About their disabled students? Oh, I’m sorry, that’s too much work. You might have to pay someone to breathe instead of filling the positions with robots who are preprogrammed for only certain functions. I…dude…I’m simply at the point where I’m done giving a shit. The simple fact is that nobody cares. Nobody wants to help. It’s too much work. I’m too much work. if you couldn’t help me, who was supposed to? You were supposed to be the person who walked in and told her, “Enough is enough!” But you didn’t. You failed me. You failed me once and now you’re failing me again. My opinion of you is that you’re a malicious, malevolent and disgraceful human being who doesn’t actually care about his/her job. And you know what? I’m entitled to that opinion. I’m entitled to sit in this train station and write down what I think of you, because surely it’s better than drinking myself to death and ending up in the hospital.
I shouldn’t actively be thinking about getting drunk. Alcoholism runs in my family. My grandfather still struggles with it. I also shouldn’t be contemplating ways to sleep outside safely tonight because my friend’s building manager isn’t thrilled with me crashing with her. I can’t go home. I can’t go home because if I go home I’m going to end up locked in a mental institution because my mother is of the opinion that I belong in a group home or something or under her legal guardianship, which obviously I don’t.
I also thought I’d let ya know that I’ll be doing a mass cleanup of my social media the minute I hit a place where I have net access, as the MBTA car I’m currently sitting in…well…there wifi works about as well as my eyes. Which is to say, um, how bout not at all? things, are leaking. Things, are leaking, that should not, be leaking. And I’m gonna plug that leak if it’s the last damn thing I do on this earth. Noone. Has any right. To be digging into my locked shit, nor does anyone have the right to tell me that I should kill myself.
Yes, it happened. Someone told me I should end my life. Not a joke. I’m still breathing, I’m sitting in this car next to Shane right now because a frigging cat saved my life in 2003. Yes, you heard me, I said it publicly. Someone who will remain nameless told me I should kill myself. then, that same human being told me I should pretty much be locked away in a mental institution. Is that what people want? Would it make everyone happier if I just ended my life or got put away somewhere so I could never be a bother to anyone again? I know there are certain individuals who would be happier that way and the only reason they don’t get what they want, well, he’s sitting to my right, if you must know. Yeah, you saw that. I said it here. The reason I won’t end my otherwise miserable existence is because someone got through to my hard ass head that I was actually worth a shit.
So as you may or may not be aware, in the event you’re living under a rock, Shane showed up here on Thursday. Not even an hour after he showed up, came a knock on the door. It was the building director, reminding me of the guest policies and threatening me with academic sanctions, and basically doing her best to make me feel about the size and worth of an amoeba. I yessed her to death for the purposes of getting her the fuck out of my face before I slapped her because I was already prepping for battle because I had afeeling stupid shit was gonna go down. And well, it did.
Then, I remembered last year’s continuous saga of the stupid. My questions for this woman, because I hope to Christ she finds this somehow, are as follows.
Where were you while I was living in filth all year?
Where were you while I sat there in a room which stunk of mold, with someone else’s belongings strewn all over what should have been my side of the room?
Where were you while I sat in health services wondering how the fuck I could’ve gotten a urinary tract infection when I was being a two-shower-a-day clean freak, living with someone who didn’t shower, or even perform the common courtesy of emptying her fridge?
Where were you while I had someone come in and take pictures of the room to make sure I didn’t get dingged hundreds in damages because I lived with someone who didn’t give a rancid shit about personal space?
Where were you when all those complaints were lodged?
Where were you when I was sitting up till 2 and 3 in the morning listening to this girl sob and scream and cry to her boyfriend because he was telling her the truth and she didn’t wanna hear it?
Where were you when I was sick every other week because I had to keep the window open in the middle of February just so I could try and scrounge up some breatheable air?
Where were you when I was washing the same load of laundry twice just to try and make it smell less like rotten mold?
What did you ever do for me when I actually needed you? Nothing. And now you’re threatening me with academic sanctions because I have someone here who actually gives a fuck trying to help me?
Lady, you may be marrie to the rules, I understand that may be the only gratification you get, but you never did anything for me when I actually needed you, so why should you bother with me now?
Below are various notes to the stupid, in no particular order because Window-Eyes and WordPress just had an argument and I had to intervene and force them to fight nicely.
1. If I tell you something 2 weeks before I do something with which you may or may not have an issue, and then sit on my thumb for ages, I’m going to assume you’re either an idiot who doesn’t pay attention to email which is the only form of contact I have with you, or that you really don’t give a goddamn what I do.
2. If I get an email hours before the deal’s already sealed, and then you don’t say word 1 to me after the fact, you have already put me in a precarious position, one from which I hav to do metaphorical gymnastics to rebound.
3. Whining to Mommy don’t get ya nowhere. Whining to the boss is not how you solve your problems like an adult!
4. If you don’t have any solutions for contortions which I can use to extract myself from the fuck shit stack I am currently stuck in, shut up and get outa my way because stuff’s gonna fly. A person 4 feet and 10 inches in height cannot easily extract herself from a pool of quicksand and dog shit 10 feet deep.
5. Communication is your happyfriend. Fucking use it and stop avoiding me.
6. When I’m already stressin’ right outa my mind, that is not the time to start hammering on me! Once again, I’ll say, step the hell off.
7. Again with the communication: there are multiple ways to, say, check your email. Hi, can we say I’m kissin’ data overages this month?
Done now. The humidity in this room is doing shitty things to this keyboard, and I think I’ve hammered my points to death in various other forms. If the dude across the room wants the floor on the situation at hand,he can have it.
Sidenote: Window-Eyes or wordpress has eaten my categories for an after-dinner snack. Damn it. Not cute.
I thought I was done issuing clues to the stupid today? it’s almost 5 PM as I start this. I guess clue issuance doesn’t have office hours. Having said that, I guess stupid doesn’t either. And I take it those who issue clue don’t get sickdays? I could’ve taken one today. somewhere, one of you just asked, “Oh for fuck’s sakes, what could’ve possibly blown up now? Shane’s out of the country for Christ’s sakes!” Yeah, well of course he’s out of the country. but that doesn’t mean my family’s stupid license wasn’t revoked. Of course not. that’d be too easy. I’m digging through email again. Personal email. Translation: the address the family has. this can only end in cursing, right? Well, of course.
Over the past couple days, my mother seemed to have gotten some weed in her system, gotten the bug out of her ass, and started acting like a normal human being. she even cracked a joke in her last message about me buying her an iPhone for her 40th birthday. So you’d think that the stupid was if not gone, at least significantly curtailed, right? Excuse me while I pop your happy little bubble where everything’s perfect… Ah, there, that’s better. Incoming stupid! Duck and cover! (Note that the email address of the guilty party is not provided here for the author’s sanity and safety.)
Mon, Mar 7, 2011 at 4:08 PM
From: (My grandmother)
To: Krista Pennell
Auntie called me last night and she wants to take you out to lunch for your birthday, I guess this weekend
she wants me to go too. Dad and I are happy you are coming home. Remember you can not bring Shane home
with you. I don;t want what happened for your birthday to happen. Email me back please
Now, let’s review, children, shall we?
When was Shane supposed to leave? tuesday.
When did he actually leave? Wednesday. We’ll blame Fitchburg State, the MBTA, and Greyhound for that, but that’s his deal not mine.
Who paid, more often than not, whenever we went to do something, whether it was traveling to New Hampshire to hang with friends, grab takeout because cafeteria food is meh, or go out to dinner by ourselves, without people whining they wanna go with us? that’s right, Shane did.
What did I contribute? I was able to pay for his food when his wallet walked off, give him a place to stay, and let him borrow my equipment while we waited for his to get here. (Thanks, asshole in Montreal, that was much appreciated. And asshole who jacked his wallet? Hell. Go there. now. Move). This trip was not under the niftiest of circumstances, as you well know, and as I’ve said before, we thank everyone who was able to pull it off the ground when it did go sideways.
that having been said, what the hell do I have to do to get it through people’s heads that he’s not taking advantage of me? Is my family really that overprotective, stupid, and unwilling to treat me like an adult that they’re hammering it into their own heads that he’s taking advantage of me? And how am I supposed to show them he’s not when they won’t give me the chance to? My mother, for one, complains that I don’t include him in anything. well, how do I do that when you won’t allow me to, you dumb ass? And grandmother, you know better. You of all people, know that I despise when people behave like that. You knew I didn’t want a birthday party, you knew it would’ve been too much for me to deal with. You knew I wanted Shane to meet everyone. I understand mother had a tantrum, oh my god, 2 and a half weeks ago, but that doesn’t give you the right to bring it up and throw it in my face. We’ve spoken of this before. I’ve told you I’m not going to be the old lady with 7000 cats just to make my mother happy and make her not have to, *gasp*, deal with people she may or may not like. the only person I’ve ever dated that she’s liked is cory. God forbid I date anyone else. she’s never liked anyone I’ve dated, with the exception of one guy, and that’s because his parents were filthy motherfucking rich. But he lived all the way out in Boston, and god forbid I be allowed to travel there. Oh, and he wasn’t necessarily college material either, so I guess the only reason she ever liked him was his rich family. Hell, she’s never really even liked any of my blind friends, again, with the notable exception of Cory. I know I referred in my last post to the poor guy whose family originated from Pakistan whom she ragged on so bad behind his back that I took pity on the poor kid and stopped talking to him. she never ragged on any of my other friends that bad, but when I hung around the few sighted people who would tolerate being seen with the blind girl in my early high school days, you could tell she was much happier about that. Take for example my friend Jay, who had one whole side of his face crushed by a jet-ski about 4 years back. He too, was blind. Did she ever rag on him, even if his face was scarred up all to hell? No. Did she rag on my friend who is wheelchair bound and only has partial use of one hand? No. All of these people have one thing in common, including Shane. That is that they all, somehow, look different. Hell, even I do. And we know she’s all over me constantly about my looks. So what the hell is her problem? Shane has done nothing to hurt me, nor has he done anything to her. When he met her, he was nothing but civil to her. And she didn’t give him any hell either. What seems to be the problem, now, and how the hell do I fix it? Given her previous history with friends of mine and people I’ve dated, how was I supposed to know she’d pull this on Shane? And why, suddenly, is my grandmother behaving like this? What’d I do to her? How’s he supposed to meet the rest of the family if they won’t remove their collective cranium from their rectum? Mother says she wants to see him included in things, and so do I, but how is that possible when everyone’s being stupid? How did they go from being accepting of this in November, to this attitude of disgust, now?
End brain vomit. Time to go get actual work done, now. it’s 7:35 and I’m still in an awesome mood because of that one email. Just… Meh. I hate people somedays.
so I haven’t posted in awhile, but this really has me wondering this individuals supposed love for this person, right here.
The following are 6 tweets that
her twitter page.
They are below and numbered for your sanity.
1. Kerri Murtland: ok so as you all know Tuesday Im starting my STEPS program (specialized training and employment program) tbc… about 29 minutes ago at 12:59:40 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web
2. Kerri Murtland: which means its another program to help me gain employment, Tuesday is also the day child tax credit is out. Tbc… about 27 minutes ago at 1:01:30 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web
3. Kerri Murtland: so Josh calls me and asks if we can hang out said Tuesday, I said no Im busy why? His reply was tbc… about 25 minutes ago at 1:04:01 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web
4. Kerri Murtland: because you get paid on Tuesday, Note to followers I had already stated that other than court Josh could not see me untill August tbc… about 23 minutes ago at 1:06:38 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web
5. Kerri Murtland: If I get work who knows from there, Josh proceeded to pitch a fit because I cant buy his birthday present. Followers riddle me this. TBC… about 19 minutes ago at 1:10:43 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web
6. Kerri Murtland: If someone claims they love you and their own selfish needs come before you bettering yourself is that love? Final. about 18 minutes ago at 1:11:54 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web
Ok, so. let’s do what I do best and have fun with this.
Kerri, has on numorous occasions, told one Mr. Josh Remmelzwaal, (refered to as simply as *he* here on out), that, she does not love him, they *are* not in a relationship, no matter what his little head, between his legs wants to think, and to get over her and to fuck off.
Yes, I did say, the head between his legs.
This is the head he thinks with, and not the head between his ears. That particular organ is filled with air.
So he still doesn’t get this point.
Let’s move on to the reason for this post, that being, his selfish behavior.
Let’s for a second here say for the reasons of this post, that he had a snowballs chance in the firy depths of hell of getting back with kerri for a second chance.
We all know this isn’t true, but let’s pretend, ok?
So, if he truly loved Kerri. would he
*continuely put himself before her
*continuely ask for birthday presents from her?
*knowing that Kerri’s attempting to better her life, bother the crap out of her and want to hang out and when told know, flip a fit?
If you truly loved/cared about someone, in my mind, here’s how this works.
*you, sacrifice whatever you have to, in order to support the individual you want to be/are with.
*you stand by this individual, no matter what life throws at you both, and if this involves more sacrifice, you do it.
*you do not act like a selfish prat, and think your crap comes before the other persons. especially when it comes to finances, if you get a present/something from the person you are with, you be happy about it, but you don’t ask for stuff for your birthday. Kinda, rude, yeah?
TO summarize, in my mind, Mr. Josh, is a selfish, too faced, idiot, who thinks about nothing but himself, and how much he can screw others.
He has no idea of sacrifice, no idea of what it takes to support someone, unless it is bettering him.
If it doesn’t better him, or he’s not getting money, he doesn’t give a shit.
So, in closing, I’m gonna say this.
Josh needs to, to quote a text from kerri
get over me, and move on!
with all that said, I await your comments.
I’ll post another time.
This entry isn’t a normal happy entry. it’s mostly gonna be rambling and has no order to it what so ever. Some parts may not even make sense but I just needed to write my feelings.
If you don’t like, stop reading, right the fuck now.
So I went downtown today to do monthly banking, bills, the usual shit, and thought, fine, I’ll see if I could track down kerri, and she could make this go a hell of a lot faster. Oh, I found kerri, all right, but who was she with? Fuckin’ josh! She ended up guiding me to the nearist TD, with josh and his snide comments all the way… things like, don’t touch my kid, keep your hands off, shit like that. It took everything I had not to turn around and belt him upside his fucking head with my cane. I’ve been more of a daddy to that child than he’ll ever be, I’ve made kerri happier for it, but josh doesn’t seem to fucking give up. Anyhow, I asked kerri if she was going to meet me back at TD so I could spend time with her and *my* child, but when I came out, she wasn’t their, come to find out josh had hauled her off to who knows where. Ended up catching up with her at jackson for a breef 30 seconds, because josh, probably thinking I was incompitent wants to feed her. Even though I’d said to her I’d take her to get something to eat. Needless to say after I grabbed something to eat I had to get assistance home, because my focus went to hell, I couldn’t concintrate to save myself. A nice gentlemen ended up giving me a ride because I think he saw my distress and inability to focus. I am now home, but I sit here asking myself, Am I wrong to feel left out? Am I wrong to feel like today was a waste of time? Am I a moron to think I’m doing the right thing? Why everytime I see kerri with josh do I have this inexplicable urge to strangle the fuck out of josh consiquences be damned? I understand josh is the baby daddy, but frankly, if he died I’d probably be happy for it as I know what he put kerri through and he deserves to be dead. I just don’t know, I know where her loyalties, kerri’s loyalties lie, but their’s still a part of me going, shane? You’ve been screwed before. This only happens when I know she’s with josh or I see josh with her downtown. I’m so afraid, so insecure right now it’s scary. I feel like I’m falling again, and nobody can catch me. I know who I love, but everytime I see sperm donnor I wonder, is he going to attempt to fill her brain with shit, and cause her to leave? I know this isn’t true, but my brain still thinks it.
ok, I’m done for now.
Sorry about the unorderlyness of this entry.
Before I go, everyone who knows me knows who I love, and who I want to marry, who’s child I call my own, and who I’ll give my life for if it means her and that child survive. That child may not be my own biologically but blood aside, he’s my child, and nobody will change that.
I will try and come up with something with more substance in it at another time.
the following is an e-mail from Chris Meredith. I include his original message and then the attached file’s contents he included.
From: Chris Meredith
Sent: Friday, September 11, 2009 5:35 PM
To: “kerri Murtland”
; Shane Davidson
Attached in Word 2007 format. You may wanna change the filename before you put it on removable media for any lawyer types.
Software Development Engineer in Test II
Windows ESC/WAP/BCD Team
Ph.: (removed for privacy)
Mobile: (removed for privacy)
Fax: (removed for privacy)
Email: (removed for privacy)
and now for the attached file’s contents as referenced above.
note the filename was blindies can be daddies to.
To whom it may concern:
I am writing this at the personal request of Kerri Murtland, with regard to court proceedings started against her by one Barb Jenkins.
First, a bit of background. I am a software developer with Microsoft Corporation, Redmond, Washington. I am the father and, in many instances, primary caregiver for a blind, nonverbal and autistic child (not named here). Further, due to various disabilities from which my wife suffers, I must frequently act as transportation for said child.
Now, to the matter at hand. Ms. Jenkins states that, amongst other allegations to which I am unqualified to speak, “… present boyfriend is completly blind” [sic] and that this, amongst other factors, “…presents danger issues where my grandson is concerned” [sic]. From the information at hand, clearly, Ms. Jenkins attempts to present blindness as an unconditional barrier to caring for a child, further citing a similarity between blindness (which resides in the eyes, and only affects the eyes) with cerebral palsy (which resides in the brain and whose effects, as can be gleaned by rudimentary research on the matter, can vary from a slight limp to complete immobility with a side of cognative difficulties) with her statement that “… In light of the fact his own father is disabled with Cerebral Palsy and cannot look after him safely that why he has supervised visits in my home” [sic]. Whilst logic here would dictate that any “for all” statement, such as the one that Ms. Jenkins is making, can be proven false by finding a single exception, I am willing to go even further than just presenting my case as a counterexample (which, admittedly, in this format, is perhaps redeemable for a coffee, providing it was submitted with the requisite $1.99). I am willing to provide the following information to back up the above assertions:
• Assertions from my son’s caseworker(s) that are handling his case with the Division of Developmental Disabilities that I do not, due to my blindness, pose any sort of safety risk to my son
• References from friends and/or family as required (names of people other than myself will be redacted)
• Testimony, if need be, at any hearings regarding this manner, including but not limited to answering any questions that Ms. Jenkins or her representatives may pose as to their safety concerns vis a vis blindness. Testimony can be given by teleconference or in person, though in-person testimony would require 14 days’ notice, due to travel expenses from Seattle. In lieu of 14 days’ notice, compensation for said travel would be required. Further, if blindness is found not to be an issue in these proceedings, I reserve the right to seek compensation for my time and costs from Ms. Jenkins and her representatives, unless seeking such remuneration is impossible under civil law for reasons of which I am not aware.
Please be advised that this statement is in no way meant to state or imply expertise in any of the other areas put forth in Ms. Jenkins’ complaint, and only stands as a response to her allegation that blindness, rather than any other condition put forth in her assessment of any of the visually impaired people she has chosen to mention, creates a safety risk. Should there be a need to contact me further, my contact information is below.
Software Development Engineer in Test II, Windows ESC/WAP/BCD Team
Ph.: (removed for privacy)
Mobile: +1 (206) 235-8535
Fax: (removed for privacy)
Email: (removed for privacy)
That’s it for now.
in a previous post, I included what I thought was a complete copy of the paperwork as presented to kerri.
This was not the case, and as the following will show, this is a complete copy, as presented to her, including all supposedly attached documentation.
My comments will follow each presented set of documentation.
First we have the actual court aff-a-david from barb.
Barbs claim: 1) CAS kinship given to myself Sept 15, 2008 to date still have kinship of Arik, Kerri has supervised visits 3days weekly.
1.1) I Barb (grandmother) of Arik am asking the court for joint custody of my grandson Arik. Arik has resided with me since Sept 15, 2008 as a result of CAS intervention (letter enclosed) my son Josh has signed over his parental rights because he cannot safely case for his son Arik because of his disability C.P, but he Maintains regular visits supervised in my home whenever he wishes to visit with his son, Arik (letter enclosed)
2) I feel that Kerri (mother of Arik) has alot of anger issues, a very bad temper that is presently being controlled by anti-depressants. She leads a very unstable life, boyfriends coming and going all of which have some form of a disability. In wheelchairs, hard of hearing, and present boyfriend is completly blind. All of there factors present danger issues where my grandson is concerned. Kerri seems to feel I am discriminating against her choices, in fact I an only concerned for his safety. In light of the fact his own father is disabled with Cerebral Palsy and cannot look after him safely that why he has supervised visits in my home. I also have a very large family all of whom are very involved with Arik and his needs, aunts, uncles, grandparents, great. Kerri had alot of problems with Arik as a baby issues with temper, anger, feeding issues, and Arik was left in crib for most of first eight months as a baby. He was neglected constantly and I was called day and night, at all hours of a day to assist her where her anger and temper was concerned.
3) I also would like the court to put in place an order that Kerri cannot move outside of Hamilton, as Arik’s whole support group lives in Hamilton. Kerri has expressed to friends and on facebook as soon as she gets Arik back she is moving out of Hamilton. I am under the understanding that she has already applied elsewhere for housing. Josh, Arik’s father relies on public transit to see his son. Kerri’s family visits Arik when possible but not a reliable support group due to the fact her grandparents are older and in bad health, and her father Bruce is legally blind and offer assistance himself. Therefore Hamilton is the most responsible area to live for everyone involved.
5) Kerri has a real problem thinking outside the any of everyday decision making and common sence. She needs constant reassurance and guidance of her decision making tasks, right from wrong and whats appropriate or not. Her visits now are three days a week, assisted by a P.S.W worker through CAS, there is always someone telling her what to do and how to do it.
6) I strongly fear for Arik’ss safety when CAS, her support worker (PSW) are no longer assisting her. I dont feel (from my two years in dealing with Kerri’s problems) that she will be able to mentally and emotionally deal with Arik on an everyday basis, she will always need someone to tell her what to do, I feel splitting the time will be better for Kerri’s emotional well being, no child needs to see his mothers temper and upset all the time.
7) I am asking the courts for joint custody of Arik
1st week – Wed + Thurs night return. 2nd week – Sat + Sunday night return Friday morning pickup. Xmas – boxing day or Christmas due. Alternating this schedule at three days every week.
A few things to note here
- firstly, the supposed abandonment of the child was because of undiagnosed depression, kerri admitted as such to C.A.S and saught help.
- the anti depressent medication she is on *is* not to control her anger it is to control her depression, suicidal tendancies and panic attacks
- please note barb cannot count, the items went from 3 to 5. um, what happened to the number 4?
- multiple times throughout the above, she takes pot shots at blind people. I note here the following questions and points of interest:
- How, is my blindness, a risk to the well being of arik?
- how is my lack of sight, a detriment to his safety?
- Chris, (last name omitted for privacy), who previously has commented on this blog, has a child that is, non verbal, blind, and otistic, and get this, chris, is, oh my god, blind! Chris’s lack of sight does not, in fact prevent him from raising or caring for a child that has multiple disibilities.
- so if chris can take care of a child with multiple disabilities and raise said child effectively, what’s stopping me, who is blind, from raising a completely sighted child and providing proper care?
- I also ask, how the hell is her families health concerns, or bruce, ***kerri’s father***, not a support? I note the following here
- Bruce has on occasion provided toys, and clothing, as gifts to arik
- when transportation is available kerri’s family *does* come to see their grandson.
- in item 5 as shown above, Barb is asking for the courts to put in place an order to keep kerri in hamilton because of josh’s need to use public transportation. (see the supposed release of parental rights below and my comments following that for more.)
and now we have the supposed consent releasing josh, (the baby daddie’s), rights as a parent to barb.
In the matter of Josh Remmelzwaal + the Arik Remmelzwaal (Nov 3/07) + Barb. Josh Whereas Josh Remmelzwaal is the child Arik Remmelzwaal
Whereas the child Arik Remmelzwaal is before the family court in child + family service act proceedings with the childrens aid society of Hamilton.
Whereas the child was placed with Barb Jenkins mother of Josh Remmelzwaal on a kinship basis by CAS Hamilton on Sept 15, 2008. Whereas Josh Remmelzwaal is severely disabled + wishes his son to remain under the care + supervision of Barb jenkins in his sons perceived best interests.
Whereas Josh Remmelzwaal has parental rights with respect to his son.
Whereas Josh Remmelzwaal has visitation whenever he chooses at Barb Jenkins’s residence.
Now therefore in consideration of the foregoing Josh Remmezwaal hereby grants + assigns + releaseds his rights over the child to Barb Jenkins dated @ Hamilton Ontario Aug 20/09 signed by B.J and J.R witness not readable)
Note the following with the above quoted supposed letter.
- This letter was hand written
- This letter does not containa lawyer’s signature, nor does it contain a file number
- I consulted with my lawyer, adn readers should be aware that under ontario provincial law, you do not sign your rights over to someone, you simply sign them off, they are gone.
- refering back to item 5 in the aff a david if he’s signed off his rights like this supposedly states, their is no need for that order to be put in place as stated in item 5 above.
- This makes the above supposed consent, null and void.
- the signature is not readable at all.
and finally, the letter from C.A.S.
August 11, 2009 To whom it may concern. I am writing this letter to confirm that Arik Nathanielle Remmezwaal born November 11, 2007 has been placed in Ms. Barb Jenkins care as per kinship arrangement with our agency. Arik Remmelzwaal was placed in your care September 15, 2007 signed by R.B and J.E.
note the following
- pen corrections throughout this letter were made to correct miss typed information
So, does anyone see how bad this looks?
Their’s no grounds, and if this holds up ina canadian court of law, I’ll be ashamed to be called a canadian.
I await allyour comments, andramblings.
a complete copy of the papers regarding kerri's court appearance in october, with notes from kerri inserted throughout!
I spouted off my opinions about this crap in a previous post noting the parts I had a problem with, but now I have a complete copy of the paperwork from kerri herself.
Their was no gag order on this so ha!
I’m putting it here for your review, and please, I beg of you, comment away!
also, please if you wish, listen to
This coming Friday September 11, 2009 at 7PM eastern for a complete ass ripping of all as posted below.
If you miss it, I’ll be sure to get the segments uploaded for download within 48 hours of the end of the show and I’ll post an entry with them.
and now, let the fun… begin!
Note anything beginning with three stars and ending in three stars are notes inserted by kerri herself
also note that spelling was corrected, and abbreviated names were expanded.
1) CAS (social services) kinship given to myself (Barb) September 15, 2008 to date still have kinship of Arik. Kerri has supervised visits 3days weekly ***(they are not supervised they are partially supervised on Tues, and Thus by a Parent support worker, and are unsupervised on Wed)***
1.1) I Barb am asking the courts for joint custody
***(in Canada the booklet says Joint custody needs lots of cooperation, and works when both parties have same ideas and values of bringing up child. Courts are *RELUCTANT* to order joint custody if both parties do NOT agree to work together)***
Arik has resided with me since September 15, 2009 as a result of CAS intervention
***(I volentarily placed him in Barbs care *TEMPORARILY* to allow me to seek stable housing in Hamilton)***
my son Josh (father of Arik) has signed over his parental rights because he *cannot* safely care for his son Arik because of his disability CP, but he maintains regular visits supervised in my home *whenever* he wishes to visit with his son Arik ***(Please note that I see Arik 3days a week)***
2) I feel that Kerri has alot of anger issues, a very bad temper that is presently being controled by the use of antidepressants
***(note that I have been diagnosed with situational depression and suicidal tendencies. As well as panic attacks)***
She leads a very unstable life, boyfriends coming and going all of which have some form of disability. In wheelchairs
***(my *friend* Mark who has Spina)***
hard of hearing
***(my ex Eric who was deaf in one ear)***
and present boyfriend who is completely blind. All of these factors present danger issues where my grandson is concerned Kerri seems to feel I am discriminating against her choices in fact I am only concerned for Arik’s safety. In light that his father is disabled. Kerri has had alot of problems dealing with Arik as a baby issues with temper, anger, feeding issues, and Arik was left in crib for most of first 8 months as a baby.
***(again note I suffered from depression)***
He was neglected constantly and I was called day and night at all hours.
***Barb was called to assist where temper was concerned.***
3) I would also like the courts to put in place an order that Kerri cannot move outside of Hamilton,
***(note that I’m not a criminal and on parole, I am not a sex offender, nor am I a child molester)***
as Arik’s whole support group lives in Hamilton. Kerri’s family visits Arik when possible but are not a reliable support group due to the fact that her grandparents are older and in bad health and her father Bruce is legally blind and needs assistance himself. ***(note the shot at blind people again)***
***(yes we went from 3 to 5 Barb cant count, this is the best part***
Kerri has a real problem thinking outside the box of everyday decision making and common sence. She needs constant reassurance and guidance of her decision making tasks, right from wrong and what’s appropriate or not. There is always someone present to tell her what to do and how to do it.
I can’t wait to see your comments!
I don’t have time to write awhole lot, as I’ve got an appointment to get to.
THi is jst ot say that i am still alive and kicking.
Rose and myself are moved into the apartment, and oding well.
We’ve still got problems with the C.A.S. trying to take our baby, and we’re working to stop it.
I’ll write more later on.
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