So when I went upstairs about 5 minutes before I started typing this, april calm as can be looks at me and goes, ya know, their’s gonna be snow tomorrow.
I went, no fuckin’ way.
and immediately jumped
over here.
no, we’re not getting snow, but indeed, we’re gonna freeze, so
james
I know
your getting a taste of windter.
but believe me you aint the only one.
just… wow.

I used to have this mild dislike for
Cpanel
that is supposedly the leading control panel, or so it’s
website says.
After tonight, that mild dislike has turned into utter hatred.
as
james
has also
posted
It started out as a mild
wordpress
issue that I asked
him
to help me fix.
actually it was more like I wanted
google analytics
to better provide tracking and other useful things.
Well, the plugins wouldn’t install, nothing would update, it was just a giant cluster fuck, so we decided, maybe the install’s hozed, so back your shit up, let’s reinstall that.
This is when we found all the broken things
so, Well a five minute job turned into 2 and a half hours, of nothing but headaches, and just stupidness!
I swear to god, when you install apache, it shouldn’t have shit barried under every fucking conceivable location in the linux operating system, and some spots, you wouldn’t think of!
Cpanel seriously, I hate you, if this hasn’t been made clear by now.
We came to the conclusion that apache was partially hozed, with miscompiled modules, etc, so simple fix, right? recompile the missing shit, and carry on, right? not so much!
The entire apache install was hozed, causing me to have to rip it apart, and basically take it down to the barebones, then rebuild the entire fucking thing back to spec, and to my standards.
I swear to god, cpanel, if you weren’t the one my customers liked, and what made me money, I’d fucking shoot you!
I seriously, and utterly, hate your goddamn guts.
you are the biggist piece of shit this side of the mississippi.
you stupid thundercunt of a control panel.
your supposed to be easy? your supposed to make things easier? really?
Tonight’s issues were deffinitly not easy to resolve, eeven with cpanel.
If i’d been able to get away with it, I’d have recompiled every goddamn package on that system from ground 0 from source and told cpanel to kiss my fucking ass.
But because it’s the thing that makes me able to pay the bills, I keep it around, but let me tell you, from now on, I’m not going in their, I know where all the shit is to do everything I need to from the command line, if it doesn’t exist, I’ll fuckin’ write a script to accomplish a task.
I’m not touching your useless web interface that’s made of so much fail, i’d have better luck talking to krista’s mother vanessa then making you do what your fucking told, and that, for the love of fuck, is saying something!
With that said, I’m done, for now.

So while on the phone with
james
via his cell phone, since his land line is currently made of fail, thanks to bell
fucking him over even after him paying them.
The call all of a sudden, without rhyme, or reason, takes a giant shit.
I get a fast busy signal, go to call back, and I get uncerimoniously fired, into voicemail.
This isn’t the first time I’ve seen this.
This is like the 4th or 5th time I’ve seen this, with different customers.
It’s like rogers in it’s monopolizing the fuckin’ cell phone markit, has forgotten the fundamentals of proper network maintenance.
This is one reason I’ve switched to
wind mobile
because even with it’s
stupid fair use policy regarding call lengths
when their’s a network problem they’ve always fixed it quick enough, where it *never* happens again, and if necessary, threw a credit at my head for my trouble.
So rogers, this is still not convincing me to return to you, ok?
your company sucks, major ass.

so I haven’t posted in awhile, but this really has me wondering this individuals supposed love for this person, right here.

The following are 6 tweets that


Kerri Murtland


posted on


her twitter page.


They are below and numbered for your sanity.

1. Kerri Murtland: ok so as you all know Tuesday Im starting my STEPS program (specialized training and employment program) tbc… about 29 minutes ago at 12:59:40 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web

2. Kerri Murtland: which means its another program to help me gain employment, Tuesday is also the day child tax credit is out. Tbc… about 27 minutes ago at 1:01:30 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web

3. Kerri Murtland: so Josh calls me and asks if we can hang out said Tuesday, I said no Im busy why? His reply was tbc… about 25 minutes ago at 1:04:01 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web

4. Kerri Murtland: because you get paid on Tuesday, Note to followers I had already stated that other than court Josh could not see me untill August tbc… about 23 minutes ago at 1:06:38 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web

5. Kerri Murtland: If I get work who knows from there, Josh proceeded to pitch a fit because I cant buy his birthday present. Followers riddle me this. TBC… about 19 minutes ago at 1:10:43 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web

6. Kerri Murtland: If someone claims they love you and their own selfish needs come before you bettering yourself is that love? Final. about 18 minutes ago at 1:11:54 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web

Ok, so. let’s do what I do best and have fun with this.

Kerri, has on numorous occasions, told one Mr. Josh Remmelzwaal, (refered to as simply as *he* here on out), that, she does not love him, they *are* not in a relationship, no matter what his little head, between his legs wants to think, and to get over her and to fuck off.

Yes, I did say, the head between his legs.

This is the head he thinks with, and not the head between his ears. That particular organ is filled with air.

So he still doesn’t get this point.

Let’s move on to the reason for this post, that being, his selfish behavior.

Let’s for a second here say for the reasons of this post, that he had a snowballs chance in the firy depths of hell of getting back with kerri for a second chance.

We all know this isn’t true, but let’s pretend, ok?

So, if he truly loved Kerri. would he

*continuely put himself before her

*continuely ask for birthday presents from her?

*knowing that Kerri’s attempting to better her life, bother the crap out of her and want to hang out and when told know, flip a fit?

Um, no!

If you truly loved/cared about someone, in my mind, here’s how this works.

*you, sacrifice whatever you have to, in order to support the individual you want to be/are with.

*you stand by this individual, no matter what life throws at you both, and if this involves more sacrifice, you do it.

*you do not act like a selfish prat, and think your crap comes before the other persons. especially when it comes to finances, if you get a present/something from the person you are with, you be happy about it, but you don’t ask for stuff for your birthday. Kinda, rude, yeah?

TO summarize, in my mind, Mr. Josh, is a selfish, too faced, idiot, who thinks about nothing but himself, and how much he can screw others.

He has no idea of sacrifice, no idea of what it takes to support someone, unless it is bettering him.

If it doesn’t better him, or he’s not getting money, he doesn’t give a shit.

So, in closing, I’m gonna say this.

Josh needs to, to quote a text from kerri

get over me, and move on!

with all that said, I await your comments.

I’ll post another time.

This is fucking dispicabel.
I’m extremely outraged.
My comments follow the article.

Sex Offender Wins Custody of Daughter.
A HEROIN-addicted sex offender has won custody of his young daughter because the girl’s mother is considered an even more unsuitable parent.
Child protection campaigners yesterday lashed the Federal Magistrates’ Court decision to leave the girl in such conditions as outrageous and “defying logic”.
Granting custody of the girl, aged about 5, to the father, the court branded the mother dishonest and criticised her continuing drug use. The court heard the mother, who has shoplifting and prostitution-related convictions and a history of drug use, left the labour ward to buy heroin soon after giving birth.
The father, who also has a string of convictions, was put on the sex offenders’ list after being convicted of wilful and obscene exposure The girl, who has behavioural problems and a speech impediment, has suffered serious injuries.
Her plight was reported to the Department of Human Services last year after she was treated for a serious burn to her buttocks. Each parent blamed the other for it. The girl also had injuries from a dog bite and once suffered an injury from being hit with a shoe.The couple separated soon after the birth, and the father is reported to have been violent to the mother.
But, despite concerns he had taken drugs as recently as last December, and kept a knife and sword collection, the court last month ruled the girl should live with him.
“The father provides calmer parenting with more clearly set boundaries than the mother does,” the magistrate said.
“A history of inadequate supervision combined with heroin and marijuana use create a serious concern that (the girl) may be neglected by her mother.”
The girl will spend two out of three weekends with her mother.The court gave the father custody because the mother continued to use drugs and “had been dishonest with the court”.
Her drug-screening tests repeatedly indicated the presence of benzodiazepines and opiates. She was even suspected of once taking drugs while in the court precinct arguing for custody. Her home was once described as filthy and strewn with vomit and faecal material, though the court accepted its cleanliness was usually “probably in an acceptable range”.
The father is on a disability pension and hasn’t worked in almost 10 years because of depression.
“There was no evidence (he) is making any notable contribution to society,” the court said.
It said he “was using drugs or doing something else he did not want to admit” as recently as last September, and had lied about his whereabouts when meant to be caring for his daughter.
But he was making progress with his addictions. It ordered him to dispose of his weapons. The Australian Childhood Foundation’s Joe Tucci said the decision “defies logic”.
“Children shouldn’t ever be placed in a situation where the rights of the parents . . . override their right to protection,” he said.
“The decision should be about whether a child is safe or not, not which parent is the better to look after them.
“The community expects children to be looked after by their parents, and if the parents fail this then the courts need to look after them.”
Child protection campaigner Hetty Johnston said the ruling was “outrageously dangerous”.”There’s no way staying with either parent should have even been an option. This isn’t in the best interest of the child,” she said.
A Department of Human Services spokesman said it was no longer involved in the case.

Let’s nail a few points here.

• what the hell is the child doing with *either* parent to begin with?


• with that said, are the courts utterly demented in the head? what the hell is this! your going to put the child in an abusive environment because, what, the state/department can’t pony up the money to keep this child safe?

No matter what, I’m shocked by this decision, that has been handed down.
Both parents, in my opinion, are unfit parents, so *neither* of them should have custody of this child.
Also, take into account the fact that this child is disabled, with a speech impediment. Can these parents provide for this child’s physical, medical, needs, with this drug habbit burning every spare dollar? In my opinion, no!
Ladies and gentlemen, the department of child services, and today’s justice system are a disgrace, no matter where you live, it’s atrotious.
I’ve posted previously in this blog about lesser cases, where the child is taken and put into the department as a ward of the state/county.
If these departments and our court systems, are going to do this to lesser cases, in a case like this article shows, why the fuck are they putting this child into an environment that, will most likely kill this child?
I want to here your opinions.
Am I wrong?
Am i just spouting out of anger?
Have i missed a vital point here somewhere?
The comment boards await you.

Hello all,
It’s been awhile since i’ve actually posted something other then random bouts of humor, etc.
So let’s catch up on the happenings in my life.
As those of you who follow my
twitter
will know I’m again single. I’m not going to go into details, it’s in the past and if you really want to know my thoughts on it go read twitter, or ask me via messenger.
As well i’ve moved out of what i most fondly called the cockroach motel, and now live on king street. It’s a better area of town, more accessible to bus routes that i know and can use, and i’m much happier here.
Health wise, i’m going through a lot of issues right now, trying to gain lost weight, severe bouts of depression, medications that aren’t agreeing with me, etc.
If you really want to keep up with me, follow me on twitter, as it’s the fastist way to no what i’m up to.
ok, piece for now.

Hello fellow blog readers
It’s been awhile since I posted something of major substance to the blind community here.
On
this blog
We have some very interesting posts to reference.
I’m going to post each of them below, exactly as posted, and I’ll follow each one of them up with my comments.
The first one is entitled

Critical security flaw in JAWS

and was posted on october 16, 2009.

Critical security flaw in JAWS
October 16, 2009 by Tyler Spivey
I have found a critical security flaw in the JAWS Screen reader that allows an attacker to gain full system-level access to

the machine. I have tested this on 32-bit Windows Vista
with JAWS 10.0.1154 and 32-bit Windows 7 with JAWS 11.0.611 Beta.

Instructions:

1. From the Windows logon screen with JAWS running, press insert+f2. Run JAWS Manager will appear.
2. Select Settings Packager, and press ok. Settings Packager will open.
3. From Settings Packager, go to File menu > Open, or press ctrl+o.
4. In the open dialog, type “%windir%\system32\*.exe” into the file name field (without the quotes) and press enter.
5. In the list of files, find cmd. Right click on it, or press the applications key and select Run as Administrator.
A system-level command prompt should open. To get out of it, type exit and press enter, then close the Settings Packager.

my comments on this one
Note that this was during the last public beta build of jaws 11, build 611. I was able to varrify this issue with this build of jaws on all machines I have access to. After build 729 the final release to the public on DVD version of jaws came out on october 19 2009, tyler reported in his next post, see below, had been fixed. but as this next will show, this problem still exists using a different set of varrifiable instructions.
The next post entitled

JAWS security flaw, round 2

has this to say.

JAWS security flaw, round 2
October 19, 2009 by Tyler Spivey
In my First Post, I described a security vulnerability that allowed local users to gain system-level access to a machine. A quick test with JAWS 11.0.729, the release build of JAWS 11, reveals that it is fixed. Here is a slightly different set of instructions that will do the same thing.
1. From the login screen, press insert+j, and navigate to utilities/configuration manager.
2. When configuration manager opens, press control+o.
3. press the Import button. The open dialog will appear.
4. On my Windows 7 test machine, I got an error box that can safely be dismissed. Once done, type %windir%\system32\*.exe into the open dialog.
5. find cmd in the list, and press the applications key on it. Select Run as administrator if it appears. If not, keep following these steps.
6. From cmd’s context menu, pick select. answer no to the question asking you to overwrite settings files, if it comes up.
7. press import, and pick cmd from the list again. Activate the context menu, and select Run as administrator.
If done correctly, you should have an administrative command prompt

I took that set of instructions and again tested them on as many systems as possible, and low and behold, I received an administrative command prompt.
But the ensanity doesn’t end there.
On the same day, this post

Gathering passwords with the JAWS builtin keylogger

hit his blog.
The text is below.

Gathering passwords with the JAWS builtin keylogger
October 19, 2009 by Tyler Spivey
JAWS so helpfully contains a built-in script that logs all keys pressed on the keyboard. This method has a better chance of working on XP than the others. You must have a user account on the machine to make this work.

1. Open Keyboard manager, and open the default file. Add a key to the “ToggleKeyboardLogging” script.

2. Once done, log out of the machine. Your profile will still be loaded. Press that key. The only thing JAWS will say is “enabled”. Log into the machine, then open keystrokes.log in your jaws program directory. all keys pressed will be there, from the last time the script was enabled

At the time of writing, do to my keyboard manager acting up, I have not been able to test this particular vulnerability relating to the keylogger.
At the time this went to press, Freedom scientific LLC,
http://www.freedomscientific.com
was closed.
But the following e-mail was dispatched to both the support and info addresses.

subject: freedom scientific’s response to the security wholes found in jaws 11?

To whom this may concern,
I am writing this message in reference to three blog posts available at:

http://tspivey.wordpress.com/

and who’s text and my comments were placed on my own blog at

http://www.shaned.net/blog

To summarize these posts, it was discovered that not only can system level access to the computer be gained using your software, but your program includes a hidden keylogger that isn’t even documented that logs all keystrokes entered and can gain sensative information from a users computer?
These keys hense are logged to keystrokes.log.
I would like to ask, what is freedom scientifics stand on these issues, and is freedom scientific willing to comment publicly for airing on ACBRadio’s main menu and in other public venues regarding these security wholes?
I Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Shane Davidson

We shall see what comes of this.
until then.
piece yall.

This entry isn’t a normal happy entry. it’s mostly gonna be rambling and has no order to it what so ever. Some parts may not even make sense but I just needed to write my feelings.
If you don’t like, stop reading, right the fuck now.
So I went downtown today to do monthly banking, bills, the usual shit, and thought, fine, I’ll see if I could track down kerri, and she could make this go a hell of a lot faster. Oh, I found kerri, all right, but who was she with? Fuckin’ josh! She ended up guiding me to the nearist TD, with josh and his snide comments all the way… things like, don’t touch my kid, keep your hands off, shit like that. It took everything I had not to turn around and belt him upside his fucking head with my cane. I’ve been more of a daddy to that child than he’ll ever be, I’ve made kerri happier for it, but josh doesn’t seem to fucking give up. Anyhow, I asked kerri if she was going to meet me back at TD so I could spend time with her and *my* child, but when I came out, she wasn’t their, come to find out josh had hauled her off to who knows where. Ended up catching up with her at jackson for a breef 30 seconds, because josh, probably thinking I was incompitent wants to feed her. Even though I’d said to her I’d take her to get something to eat. Needless to say after I grabbed something to eat I had to get assistance home, because my focus went to hell, I couldn’t concintrate to save myself. A nice gentlemen ended up giving me a ride because I think he saw my distress and inability to focus. I am now home, but I sit here asking myself, Am I wrong to feel left out? Am I wrong to feel like today was a waste of time? Am I a moron to think I’m doing the right thing? Why everytime I see kerri with josh do I have this inexplicable urge to strangle the fuck out of josh consiquences be damned? I understand josh is the baby daddy, but frankly, if he died I’d probably be happy for it as I know what he put kerri through and he deserves to be dead. I just don’t know, I know where her loyalties, kerri’s loyalties lie, but their’s still a part of me going, shane? You’ve been screwed before. This only happens when I know she’s with josh or I see josh with her downtown. I’m so afraid, so insecure right now it’s scary. I feel like I’m falling again, and nobody can catch me. I know who I love, but everytime I see sperm donnor I wonder, is he going to attempt to fill her brain with shit, and cause her to leave? I know this isn’t true, but my brain still thinks it.
ok, I’m done for now.
Sorry about the unorderlyness of this entry.
Before I go, everyone who knows me knows who I love, and who I want to marry, who’s child I call my own, and who I’ll give my life for if it means her and that child survive. That child may not be my own biologically but blood aside, he’s my child, and nobody will change that.
I will try and come up with something with more substance in it at another time.

Hello all,
This isn’t really an update, more of a show you people two songs I like.
The first one im gonna comment a bit on.
I was listening to terri clark’s unsung hero tonight. And began thinking. This song, really fits me, right now.
Here are the lyrics to that song, and if this doesn’t make you go, wait a minute, im telling you, you aint human.

You sit in the shadows
You don’t complain or criticize
And while the world may see me as a fool
They’re not looking through your eyes
No questions asked, you’re there when I need you
With a love that inspires me to be everything you deserve
‘Cause you’re my unsung hero
And I know it’s not easy to walk in your shoes
Day after day you continue to amaze me
Now I sing this song of love for you
While others long to steal the spotlight
You work your magic quietly
Cause you’re not in it for the glory
The love you give comes naturally
I may not have much, but what I have I give to you
And this song that I sing is my gift
And I swear that I mean every word
‘Cause you’re my unsung hero
And I know it’s not easy to walk in your shoes
Day after day youcontinue to amaze me
Now I sing this song of love for you
‘Cause you’re my unsung hero
And I know it’s not easy to walk in your shoes
Day after day youcontinue to amaze me
Now I sing this song of love for you
Now I sing this song of love
For you

My favorite verse is this one.

While others long to steal the spotlight
You work your magic quietly
Cause you’re not in it for the glory
The love you give comes naturally
I may not have much, but what I have I give to you
And this song that I sing is my gift
And I swear that I mean every word
As kerri and my relationship has grown, people, have tried to steel the spotlight, tried to worm their way between us, but it hasn't worked, not at all.
We've had our fights, well, disagreements, per say. We've rolled through downtown Hamiltonian drama, and came out stronger for it. We've listened to people wine and bitch oh one of us is gonna cheet, (*growls*). Let me tell you, we've fuckin' heard it all.
This song, everytime I here it I just go, wow.
But that's not my all time favorite one.
This one, the one I'm just going to post the lyrics to, yeah, it so fits. Omg.
These are the lyrics to Keith Urban's thank you, off his newist album, defying gravity.

There were nights where I was sure
I wouldn’t see the morning sun
And there were days that seemed so dark
I couldn’t wait for night to come
I couldn’t stand to think about how
My life used to be
And how without a single warning
It all slipped away from me
Like a fool I thought I could fight
The shadows on my own
To the dark I was no stranger
But this was stronger than I’d known
And by the time I knew that I was too deep I’d gone too far
And the light that used to guide me
Had faded from my heart
And I found myself in places I thought I’d never go
Surrounded by stangers I was so far away from home
And I don’t know how you found me
All I know is I owe you everything
Yes I do
And I thank you for my heart
I thank you for my life
And I thank god for grace and mercy
And that you became my wife
I’m seeing for the first time
The stars, the sun and moon
But they’ve got nothing on the power
Of this love I have for you
And I thank you, thank you
Now people say they’ll never stand beside you
They swear they never leave
But when the rain started falling
You know it only fell on me
When all I felt was so much pain and guilt and shame
I couldn’t even as for help
I don’t know if I believe in other lives
But when you came
There was something so familar
About the way you said my name
And the whole world started turning
And I swear that I’d been born again brand new
And it’s all because of you
[chorus]
And I’ve seen so many things
That I just can’t explain
But the miracle of miracles is how
With your love I was saved
[Chorus]
And I thank you for my heart
I thank you for my life
I thank god for grace and mercy
And that you became my wife
The day I started breathing
Was the day you took my hand
And ’til the day I die
Baby
I’ll forever be your man
And I thank you, I thank you

That’s all for now.
Nothing to content rich, but whatever, it’s something I felt like posting.
Talk to you all soon.

the following is an e-mail from Chris Meredith. I include his original message and then the attached file’s contents he included.

From: Chris Meredith
Sent: Friday, September 11, 2009 5:35 PM
To: “kerri Murtland” ; Shane Davidson
Subject: Letter

Attached in Word 2007 format. You may wanna change the filename before you put it on removable media for any lawyer types.

Regards,
Chris Meredith
Software Development Engineer in Test II
Windows ESC/WAP/BCD Team
Ph.: (removed for privacy)
Mobile: (removed for privacy)
Fax: (removed for privacy)
Email: (removed for privacy)

and now for the attached file’s contents as referenced above.
note the filename was blindies can be daddies to.

To whom it may concern:

I am writing this at the personal request of Kerri Murtland, with regard to court proceedings started against her by one Barb Jenkins.
First, a bit of background. I am a software developer with Microsoft Corporation, Redmond, Washington. I am the father and, in many instances, primary caregiver for a blind, nonverbal and autistic child (not named here). Further, due to various disabilities from which my wife suffers, I must frequently act as transportation for said child.
Now, to the matter at hand. Ms. Jenkins states that, amongst other allegations to which I am unqualified to speak, “… present boyfriend is completly blind” [sic] and that this, amongst other factors, “…presents danger issues where my grandson is concerned” [sic]. From the information at hand, clearly, Ms. Jenkins attempts to present blindness as an unconditional barrier to caring for a child, further citing a similarity between blindness (which resides in the eyes, and only affects the eyes) with cerebral palsy (which resides in the brain and whose effects, as can be gleaned by rudimentary research on the matter, can vary from a slight limp to complete immobility with a side of cognative difficulties) with her statement that “… In light of the fact his own father is disabled with Cerebral Palsy and cannot look after him safely that why he has supervised visits in my home” [sic]. Whilst logic here would dictate that any “for all” statement, such as the one that Ms. Jenkins is making, can be proven false by finding a single exception, I am willing to go even further than just presenting my case as a counterexample (which, admittedly, in this format, is perhaps redeemable for a coffee, providing it was submitted with the requisite $1.99). I am willing to provide the following information to back up the above assertions:
• Assertions from my son’s caseworker(s) that are handling his case with the Division of Developmental Disabilities that I do not, due to my blindness, pose any sort of safety risk to my son
• References from friends and/or family as required (names of people other than myself will be redacted)
• Testimony, if need be, at any hearings regarding this manner, including but not limited to answering any questions that Ms. Jenkins or her representatives may pose as to their safety concerns vis a vis blindness. Testimony can be given by teleconference or in person, though in-person testimony would require 14 days’ notice, due to travel expenses from Seattle. In lieu of 14 days’ notice, compensation for said travel would be required. Further, if blindness is found not to be an issue in these proceedings, I reserve the right to seek compensation for my time and costs from Ms. Jenkins and her representatives, unless seeking such remuneration is impossible under civil law for reasons of which I am not aware.
 
Please be advised that this statement is in no way meant to state or imply expertise in any of the other areas put forth in Ms. Jenkins’ complaint, and only stands as a response to her allegation that blindness, rather than any other condition put forth in her assessment of any of the visually impaired people she has chosen to mention, creates a safety risk. Should there be a need to contact me further, my contact information is below.

Warmest regards,
Chris Meredith
Software Development Engineer in Test II, Windows ESC/WAP/BCD Team
Ph.: (removed for privacy)
Mobile: +1 (206) 235-8535
Fax: (removed for privacy)
Email: (removed for privacy)

That’s it for now.

in a previous post, I included what I thought was a complete copy of the paperwork as presented to kerri.
This was not the case, and as the following will show, this is a complete copy, as presented to her, including all supposedly attached documentation.
My comments will follow each presented set of documentation.
First we have the actual court aff-a-david from barb.

Barbs claim: 1) CAS kinship given to myself Sept 15, 2008 to date still have kinship of Arik, Kerri has supervised visits 3days weekly.
1.1) I Barb (grandmother) of Arik am asking the court for joint custody of my grandson Arik. Arik has resided with me since Sept 15, 2008 as a result of CAS intervention (letter enclosed) my son Josh has signed over his parental rights because he cannot safely case for his son Arik because of his disability C.P, but he Maintains regular visits supervised in my home whenever he wishes to visit with his son, Arik (letter enclosed)
2) I feel that Kerri (mother of Arik) has alot of anger issues, a very bad temper that is presently being controlled by anti-depressants. She leads a very unstable life, boyfriends coming and going all of which have some form of a disability. In wheelchairs, hard of hearing, and present boyfriend is completly blind. All of there factors present danger issues where my grandson is concerned. Kerri seems to feel I am discriminating against her choices, in fact I an only concerned for his safety. In light of the fact his own father is disabled with Cerebral Palsy and cannot look after him safely that why he has supervised visits in my home. I also have a very large family all of whom are very involved with Arik and his needs, aunts, uncles, grandparents, great. Kerri had alot of problems with Arik as a baby issues with temper, anger, feeding issues, and Arik was left in crib for most of first eight months as a baby. He was neglected constantly and I was called day and night, at all hours of a day to assist her where her anger and temper was concerned.
3) I also would like the court to put in place an order that Kerri cannot move outside of Hamilton, as Arik’s whole support group lives in Hamilton. Kerri has expressed to friends and on facebook as soon as she gets Arik back she is moving out of Hamilton. I am under the understanding that she has already applied elsewhere for housing. Josh, Arik’s father relies on public transit to see his son. Kerri’s family visits Arik when possible but not a reliable support group due to the fact her grandparents are older and in bad health, and her father Bruce is legally blind and offer assistance himself. Therefore Hamilton is the most responsible area to live for everyone involved.
5) Kerri has a real problem thinking outside the any of everyday decision making and common sence. She needs constant reassurance and guidance of her decision making tasks, right from wrong and whats appropriate or not. Her visits now are three days a week, assisted by a P.S.W worker through CAS, there is always someone telling her what to do and how to do it.
6) I strongly fear for Arik’ss safety when CAS, her support worker (PSW) are no longer assisting her. I dont feel (from my two years in dealing with Kerri’s problems) that she will be able to mentally and emotionally deal with Arik on an everyday basis, she will always need someone to tell her what to do, I feel splitting the time will be better for Kerri’s emotional well being, no child needs to see his mothers temper and upset all the time.
7) I am asking the courts for joint custody of Arik
1st week – Wed + Thurs night return. 2nd week – Sat + Sunday night return Friday morning pickup. Xmas – boxing day or Christmas due. Alternating this schedule at three days every week.

A few things to note here

• firstly, the supposed abandonment of the child was because of undiagnosed depression, kerri admitted as such to C.A.S and saught help.
• the anti depressent medication she is on *is* not to control her anger it is to control her depression, suicidal tendancies and panic attacks
• please note barb cannot count, the items went from 3 to 5. um, what happened to the number 4?
• multiple times throughout the above, she takes pot shots at blind people. I note here the following questions and points of interest:
  • How, is my blindness, a risk to the well being of arik?
  • how is my lack of sight, a detriment to his safety?
  • Chris, (last name omitted for privacy), who previously has commented on this blog, has a child that is, non verbal, blind, and otistic, and get this, chris, is, oh my god, blind! Chris’s lack of sight does not, in fact prevent him from raising or caring for a child that has multiple disibilities.
  • so if chris can take care of a child with multiple disabilities and raise said child effectively, what’s stopping me, who is blind, from raising a completely sighted child and providing proper care?
• I also ask, how the hell is her families health concerns, or bruce, ***kerri’s father***, not a support? I note the following here
  • Bruce has on occasion provided toys, and clothing, as gifts to arik
  • when transportation is available kerri’s family *does* come to see their grandson.
• in item 5 as shown above, Barb is asking for the courts to put in place an order to keep kerri in hamilton because of josh’s need to use public transportation. (see the supposed release of parental rights below and my comments following that for more.)

and now we have the supposed consent releasing josh, (the baby daddie’s), rights as a parent to barb.

In the matter of Josh Remmelzwaal + the Arik Remmelzwaal (Nov 3/07) + Barb. Josh Whereas Josh Remmelzwaal is the child Arik Remmelzwaal
Whereas the child Arik Remmelzwaal is before the family court in child + family service act proceedings with the childrens aid society of Hamilton.
Whereas the child was placed with Barb Jenkins mother of Josh Remmelzwaal on a kinship basis by CAS Hamilton on Sept 15, 2008. Whereas Josh Remmelzwaal is severely disabled + wishes his son to remain under the care + supervision of Barb jenkins in his sons perceived best interests.
Whereas Josh Remmelzwaal has parental rights with respect to his son.
Whereas Josh Remmelzwaal has visitation whenever he chooses at Barb Jenkins’s residence.
Now therefore in consideration of the foregoing Josh Remmezwaal hereby grants + assigns + releaseds his rights over the child to Barb Jenkins dated @ Hamilton Ontario Aug 20/09 signed by B.J and J.R witness not readable)

Note the following with the above quoted supposed letter.

• This letter was hand written
• This letter does not containa lawyer’s signature, nor does it contain a file number
• I consulted with my lawyer, adn readers should be aware that under ontario provincial law, you do not sign your rights over to someone, you simply sign them off, they are gone.
• refering back to item 5 in the aff a david if he’s signed off his rights like this supposedly states, their is no need for that order to be put in place as stated in item 5 above.
• This makes the above supposed consent, null and void.
• the signature is not readable at all.

and finally, the letter from C.A.S.

August 11, 2009 To whom it may concern. I am writing this letter to confirm that Arik Nathanielle Remmezwaal born November 11, 2007 has been placed in Ms. Barb Jenkins care as per kinship arrangement with our agency. Arik Remmelzwaal was placed in your care September 15, 2007 signed by R.B and J.E.

note the following

• pen corrections throughout this letter were made to correct miss typed information

So, does anyone see how bad this looks?
Their’s no grounds, and if this holds up ina canadian court of law, I’ll be ashamed to be called a canadian.
I await allyour comments, andramblings.

I spouted off my opinions about this crap in a previous post noting the parts I had a problem with, but now I have a complete copy of the paperwork from kerri herself.
Their was no gag order on this so ha!
I’m putting it here for your review, and please, I beg of you, comment away!
also, please if you wish, listen to
jjrn
This coming Friday September 11, 2009 at 7PM eastern for a complete ass ripping of all as posted below.
If you miss it, I’ll be sure to get the segments uploaded for download within 48 hours of the end of the show and I’ll post an entry with them.
and now, let the fun… begin!
Note anything beginning with three stars and ending in three stars are notes inserted by kerri herself
also note that spelling was corrected, and abbreviated names were expanded.

1) CAS (social services) kinship given to myself (Barb) September 15, 2008 to date still have kinship of Arik. Kerri has supervised visits 3days weekly ***(they are not supervised they are partially supervised on Tues, and Thus by a Parent support worker, and are unsupervised on Wed)***
1.1) I Barb am asking the courts for joint custody
***(in Canada the booklet says Joint custody needs lots of cooperation, and works when both parties have same ideas and values of bringing up child. Courts are *RELUCTANT* to order joint custody if both parties do NOT agree to work together)***
Arik has resided with me since September 15, 2009 as a result of CAS intervention
***(I volentarily placed him in Barbs care *TEMPORARILY* to allow me to seek stable housing in Hamilton)***
my son Josh (father of Arik) has signed over his parental rights because he *cannot* safely care for his son Arik because of his disability CP, but he maintains regular visits supervised in my home *whenever* he wishes to visit with his son Arik ***(Please note that I see Arik 3days a week)***
2) I feel that Kerri has alot of anger issues, a very bad temper that is presently being controled by the use of antidepressants
***(note that I have been diagnosed with situational depression and suicidal tendencies. As well as panic attacks)***
She leads a very unstable life, boyfriends coming and going all of which have some form of disability. In wheelchairs
***(my *friend* Mark who has Spina)***
hard of hearing
***(my ex Eric who was deaf in one ear)***
and present boyfriend who is completely blind. All of these factors present danger issues where my grandson is concerned Kerri seems to feel I am discriminating against her choices in fact I am only concerned for Arik’s safety. In light that his father is disabled. Kerri has had alot of problems dealing with Arik as a baby issues with temper, anger, feeding issues, and Arik was left in crib for most of first 8 months as a baby.
***(again note I suffered from depression)***
He was neglected constantly and I was called day and night at all hours.
***Barb was called to assist where temper was concerned.***
3) I would also like the courts to put in place an order that Kerri cannot move outside of Hamilton,
***(note that I’m not a criminal and on parole, I am not a sex offender, nor am I a child molester)***
as Arik’s whole support group lives in Hamilton. Kerri’s family visits Arik when possible but are not a reliable support group due to the fact that her grandparents are older and in bad health and her father Bruce is legally blind and needs assistance himself. ***(note the shot at blind people again)***
5)
***(yes we went from 3 to 5 Barb cant count, this is the best part***
Kerri has a real problem thinking outside the box of everyday decision making and common sence. She needs constant reassurance and guidance of her decision making tasks, right from wrong and what’s appropriate or not. There is always someone present to tell her what to do and how to do it.

I can’t wait to see your comments!

Hello fellow blog readers.
I know, a lot of you have been asking will I ever get back into podcasting.
Well, the answer, is a resounding, yes!
We’ve got episode 1 of my personal podcast!
A few notes before we get started.

• This content *has* not been edited, at all, so what was recorded, is what you get!
• adult content, topics, and language, do come up and we don’t sensor, so if you can’t handle, get lost!

with those notes out of the way I give you the first episode ofthe podcast!
download the first episode!

Hey peoples,
I’m playing with this author thing, and added my girlfriend rose to the authors section.
So she can now post to this here blog thingy.
More accesible then livejournal if you ask me.
grin.
talk to you all later.

Now this is what i call funny!
enjoy!

T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the shop,
The computers were whirring; they never do stop.
The power was on and the temperature right,
In hopes that the input would feed back that night.
The system was ready, the program was coded,
And memory drums had been carefully loaded;
While adding a Christmasy glow to the scene,
The lights on the console, flashed red, white and green.
When out in the hall there arose such a clatter,
The programmer ran to see what was the matter.
Away to the hallway he flew like a flash,
Forgetting his key in his curious dash.
He stood in the hallway and looked all about,
When the door slammed behind him, and he was locked out.
Then, in the computer room what should appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer;
And a little old man, who with scarcely a pause,
Chuckled: “My name is Santa…the last name is Claus.”
The computer was startled, confused by the name,
Then it buzzed as it heard the old fellow exclaim:
“This is Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen,
And Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen.”
With all these odd names, it was puzzled anew;
It hummed and it clanked, and a main circuit blew.
It searched in its memory core, trying to “think”;
Then the multi-line printer went out on the blink.
Unable to do its electronic job,
It said in a voice that was almost a sob:
“Your eyes – how they twinkle – your dimples so merry,
Your cheeks so like roses, your nose like a cherry,
Your smile – all these things, I’ve been programmed to know,
And at data – recall, I am more than so – so;
But your name and your address (computers can’t lie),
Are things that I just cannot identify.
You’ve a jolly old face and a little round belly,
That shakes when you laugh like a bowlful of jelly;
My scanners can see you, but still I insist,
Since you’re not in my program, you cannot exist!”
Old Santa just chuckled a merry “ho, ho”,
And sat down to type out a quick word or so.
The keyboard clack-clattered, its sound sharp and clean,
As Santa fed this “data” to the machine:
“Kids everywhere know me; I come every year;
The presents I bring add to everyone’s cheer;
But you won’t get anything – that’s plain to see;
Too bad your programmers forgot about me.”
Then he faced the machine and said with a shrug,
“Merry Christmas to All” as he pulled out the plug.

>Hey peoples,
I’m playing with this author thing, and added my girlfriend rose to the authors section.
So she can now post to this here blog thingy.
More accesible then livejournal if you ask me.
grin.
talk to you all later.

>Now this is what i call funny!
enjoy!

T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the shop,
The computers were whirring; they never do stop.
The power was on and the temperature right,
In hopes that the input would feed back that night.
The system was ready, the program was coded,
And memory drums had been carefully loaded;
While adding a Christmasy glow to the scene,
The lights on the console, flashed red, white and green.
When out in the hall there arose such a clatter,
The programmer ran to see what was the matter.
Away to the hallway he flew like a flash,
Forgetting his key in his curious dash.
He stood in the hallway and looked all about,
When the door slammed behind him, and he was locked out.
Then, in the computer room what should appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer;
And a little old man, who with scarcely a pause,
Chuckled: “My name is Santa…the last name is Claus.”
The computer was startled, confused by the name,
Then it buzzed as it heard the old fellow exclaim:
“This is Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen,
And Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen.”
With all these odd names, it was puzzled anew;
It hummed and it clanked, and a main circuit blew.
It searched in its memory core, trying to “think”;
Then the multi-line printer went out on the blink.
Unable to do its electronic job,
It said in a voice that was almost a sob:
“Your eyes – how they twinkle – your dimples so merry,
Your cheeks so like roses, your nose like a cherry,
Your smile – all these things, I’ve been programmed to know,
And at data – recall, I am more than so – so;
But your name and your address (computers can’t lie),
Are things that I just cannot identify.
You’ve a jolly old face and a little round belly,
That shakes when you laugh like a bowlful of jelly;
My scanners can see you, but still I insist,
Since you’re not in my program, you cannot exist!”
Old Santa just chuckled a merry “ho, ho”,
And sat down to type out a quick word or so.
The keyboard clack-clattered, its sound sharp and clean,
As Santa fed this “data” to the machine:
“Kids everywhere know me; I come every year;
The presents I bring add to everyone’s cheer;
But you won’t get anything – that’s plain to see;
Too bad your programmers forgot about me.”
Then he faced the machine and said with a shrug,
“Merry Christmas to All” as he pulled out the plug.

Hello everyone, and merry Christmas to all!
I got this by e-mail and found it really halarious!
Weather you are apart of yahoo in some fashion or not, this will certainly make you laugh!
Enjoy, and again, merry Christmas from me to you and your family!

12 days of Christmas yahoo gave to me

On the first day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me A post from a week ago.
On the second day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
2 web crashes and a post from a week ago.
On the third day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
3 error messages
2 web crashes and a post from a week ago.
On the fourth day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 error messages
2 web crashes and a post from a week ago.
On the fifth day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
5 frozen PM’s
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 error messages
2 web crashes and a post from a week ago.
On the sixth day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
6 disconnections
5 frozen PM’s
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 error messages
2 web crashes and a post from a week ago.
On the seventh day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
7 hours with no mail
6 disconnections
5 frozen PM’s
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 error messages
2 web crashes and a post from a week ago.
On the eighth day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
8 channels not working
7 hours with no mail
6 disconnections
5 frozen PM’s
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 error messages
2 web crashes and a post from a week ago.
On the ninth day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
9 Viagra advertisements
8 channels not working
7 hours with no mail
6 disconnections
5 frozen PM’s
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 error messages
2 web crashes and a post from a week ago.
On the tenth day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
10 propositions
9 Viagra advertisements
8 channels not working
7 hours with no mail
6 disconnections
5 frozen PM’s
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 error messages
2 web crashes and a post from a week ago.
On the eleventh day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
11 pieces of spam
10 propositions
9 Viagra advertisements
8 channels not working
7 hours with no mail
6 disconnections
5 frozen PM’s
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 error messages
2 web crashes and a post from a week ago.
On the twelfth day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
12 reasons to unsubscribe.
11 pieces of spam
10 propositions
9 Viagra advertisements
8 channels not working
7 hours with no mail
6 disconnections
5 frozen PM’s
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 error messages
2 web crashes and a post from a week ago.

>Hello everyone, and merry Christmas to all!
I got this by e-mail and found it really halarious!
Weather you are apart of yahoo in some fashion or not, this will certainly make you laugh!
Enjoy, and again, merry Christmas from me to you and your family!

12 days of Christmas yahoo gave to me

On the first day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me A post from a week ago.
On the second day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
2 web crashes and a post from a week ago.
On the third day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
3 error messages
2 web crashes and a post from a week ago.
On the fourth day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 error messages
2 web crashes and a post from a week ago.
On the fifth day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
5 frozen PM’s
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 error messages
2 web crashes and a post from a week ago.
On the sixth day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
6 disconnections
5 frozen PM’s
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 error messages
2 web crashes and a post from a week ago.
On the seventh day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
7 hours with no mail
6 disconnections
5 frozen PM’s
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 error messages
2 web crashes and a post from a week ago.
On the eighth day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
8 channels not working
7 hours with no mail
6 disconnections
5 frozen PM’s
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 error messages
2 web crashes and a post from a week ago.
On the ninth day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
9 Viagra advertisements
8 channels not working
7 hours with no mail
6 disconnections
5 frozen PM’s
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 error messages
2 web crashes and a post from a week ago.
On the tenth day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
10 propositions
9 Viagra advertisements
8 channels not working
7 hours with no mail
6 disconnections
5 frozen PM’s
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 error messages
2 web crashes and a post from a week ago.
On the eleventh day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
11 pieces of spam
10 propositions
9 Viagra advertisements
8 channels not working
7 hours with no mail
6 disconnections
5 frozen PM’s
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 error messages
2 web crashes and a post from a week ago.
On the twelfth day of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
12 reasons to unsubscribe.
11 pieces of spam
10 propositions
9 Viagra advertisements
8 channels not working
7 hours with no mail
6 disconnections
5 frozen PM’s
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 error messages
2 web crashes and a post from a week ago.

Hello everyone. It’s been awhile since I’ve posted an actual blog post. Over a month I believe. A lot has happened over these past months.
This is going to be one long post, so sit back and enjoy! My company shaneD.net hosting services endured two server attacks witch we recovered nicely from. While dealing with those, my relationship with

rose took a turn for the better. I finally got up the courage to tell

my parents about rose and myself and our plans to move in together. To

my astonishment and joy, both parents were supportive of me 100%. They

really wanted to meet Rose, so I started putting things in place for

Rose to come over for the Christmas Holidays. After a few setbacks

regarding transportation, as of Monday, Rose is going to spend the

Christmas holidays at my house! I’m happy to say Rose will finally

have a christmas holiday to remember for the rest of her life. The

past two years for her have been hell at Christmas time, and I vowed

that this year would be different, and I’m proud to say I’ve been able

to make that happen! We’ve had some crap from the school

administration, but persistance has paid off and the school is finally

understanding that this relationship is much much more than a game.

I’m not playing around, I’m dead serious about this relationship, and

no matter what I am told, I will be their until the death do us part.

This is god’s will, and god’s calling for me to be apart of this

wonderful girl’s life, and I thank god every waking moment for her.

She’s the joy in my life. She’s been my rock when I’ve needed someone.

She’s picked me up when I’ve hit rock bottom. She’s kicked my ass when

I’ve needed it. She’s the reason I carry on each and every day.

Everyone might call me strange for writing this, but let me tell you

dear reader one thing, I’ve been better with her. She’s my all. God

has brought us together and made it possible for us to stick by each

other through it all. We had a rocky start but god made this all

possible, and nothing else will ever break us apart.
I’d like to share a little something with you all. Something I wrote

about two months ago. I never thought I could write this, but god’s

hand was involved with this, and I’d like to share it with you all.
Begin poem.
True relationships never really die
And family isn’t defined by blood
It’s made strong by bonds that won’t break
Tempered and tested by trials and pain
what you mean to me is more than words can describe
you’ve been loyal to me from the beginning
And no matter what happens between this moment and then
I shall be always thankful to have you in my life.
You’ve been their when I’ve needed someone to talk to
you’ve been their when I’ve needed a hsolder to cry on.
When things got tough, you were always their, ready to help, and assist

me.
You made me see my errors and helped me fix them
you brought me to an understanding that I’ve never had.
You’ve showed me what it means to be loved and what love really means.
It’s not the words or the intimacy that defines what love is.
it’s the closeness, the bond between two people, that make love what

love is.
You’ve showed me what it means to be happy, to have someone who truly

loves me.
When I asked you that day way back when, I expected to be rejected, to

be pushed away because of who I was, what I had done in the past.
Not you. You excepted me for who I was.
You didn’t ask me to change who I was, to change my personality to suit

your needs.
You became my rock, my everything.
You are the reason I continue to carry on through the tough times.
You are the reason I want to get up in the morning.
You are my strength, my shield, my all.
Without you, I don’t know where I’d be.
I love you, and will love you forever and ever.
End poem.
Dear blog reader, as you read through that little piece of writing, I

hope that makes you understand my true feelings for the one I truly

love, and will do whatever it takes, even death, to protect her and

make sure she is cared for. It’s been almost a year for us both, and

it feels like we’ve known each other our entire lives. I’ve shared

things with Rose that I never thought I’d ever share with anyone my

entire life.
This has turned into a long post, but it’s not overyet.
A lot of people have said to me that I’d never be able to succeed in a

relationship, I’d never have someone that cared about me. That is not

true, and if the contents of this entry doesn’t prove that, I don’t

know what will. I’m not going to take anyone’s crap, I’ve worked way

too hard to leave now. I still remember the night, back in February of

2006, and I remember it all like it was yesterday. I still remember

the day in March when things got nasty, and we had to rethink it, it

hurt me, and I thought god had let me down again. As the saying goes,

things have to get worse before they get better. When Rose approached

me in July, and asked me if I wanted to be her boyfriend again, I had

to seriously think about it. I’d been hurt before, and I wasn’t ready

to be hurt again. I took two weeks and thought, and praid about it. I

asked god to guide me in what to do, and he has done so. We’re

together, and I’m not leaving, ever! I’ve said it before, and I’ll

continue to say so time and time again. I love that girl to pieces and

I’d do anything to make her happy, whatever it took. Those who know me

well, know that when I say something, I mean it. When I say I’m going

to be here, and you can count on me, and I would do anything to save

and protect someone, you can bet your ass that I mean it! When it

comes to things like this I don’t joke around. I’ve already delt with

one loser who decided to screw with me and my relationship. They were

dealt with harshly, and lord help him if he ever screws with me and my

girl, again! If he does, so help me god, it’ll be the last thing he

ever does! This isn’t very nice of me, but if I have to kill him to

protect hir, I will! I really hope he learned his lesson the last

time, so it won’t have to come to that, but if it does, then so be it!

I’d rather see him dead then hurt the one I’ve sworn to protect and

charish. We may not be married, but you can bet your paycheck that if

we have our way, it’s going to happen.
We’ve already discussed the matter, grin, and it’s what we want. What

else can I say folks, besides what’s already been said here. It’s

reality and that’s life. I’m not going to leave just because crap gets

rough. That’s not me, and anyone who knows me at all should know that

by now. If you don’t then, I’m sorry to say you are officially stupid

and demented in the head. I know your all probably calling me stupid

because of the length of this post and your probably calling me stupid

for me writing my feelings about the one I love. Well, to bad for you,

it’s my blog, and I’ll write about whatever I feel like. You can like

it or lump it. No matter, it’s my blog and I’ll write about what I

want to write about and if you don’t like it, well, then you can just

shove off. I’ve really got nothing else to say. r />Before I go, let me just say one more thing.
I thank god each and every day for the people in my life. I thank him

for bringing me and Rose together and keeping us together through it

all. I thank him for people like Kelly, Kevin, hailey, Emily, and

everyone else who has stuck by us both and givin the both of us support

and advice when we’ve needed it. Without you guys, I’m not sure where

I’d be.
Their hav been times where I’ve wanted to just give up on god and the

whole relationship thing, but something told me to stick it out, and

one day I’d find someone. And boy was everyone rright on the money!

Not everyone are complete jerks, and their are people that give a crap.

in this world.
Rose hasnt’ cared about my differences. She excepts me for who I am.

She doesn’t ask me to change to suit her needs and wants, and I don’t

expect her to change for me. When their’s a problem we sit and talk it

out and not fight over it. I’ve learned that I don’t have to be scared

to bring situations to her attention, and I’m thankful for that

comfort.
Well, that’s all I have to right.
Thanks all.
May the lord bless you and keep you safe.
May heaven smile upon you, and with you I am praying.
Until next time folks.

Hello everyone. It’s been awhile since I’ve posted an actual blog post. Over a month I believe. A lot has happened over these past months.
This is going to be one long post, so sit back and enjoy! My company shaneD.net hosting services endured two server attacks witch we recovered nicely from. While dealing with those, my relationship with

rose took a turn for the better. I finally got up the courage to tell

my parents about rose and myself and our plans to move in together. To

my astonishment and joy, both parents were supportive of me 100%. They

really wanted to meet Rose, so I started putting things in place for

Rose to come over for the Christmas Holidays. After a few setbacks

regarding transportation, as of Monday, Rose is going to spend the

Christmas holidays at my house! I’m happy to say Rose will finally

have a christmas holiday to remember for the rest of her life. The

past two years for her have been hell at Christmas time, and I vowed

that this year would be different, and I’m proud to say I’ve been able

to make that happen! We’ve had some crap from the school

administration, but persistance has paid off and the school is finally

understanding that this relationship is much much more than a game.

I’m not playing around, I’m dead serious about this relationship, and

no matter what I am told, I will be their until the death do us part.

This is god’s will, and god’s calling for me to be apart of this

wonderful girl’s life, and I thank god every waking moment for her.

She’s the joy in my life. She’s been my rock when I’ve needed someone.

She’s picked me up when I’ve hit rock bottom. She’s kicked my ass when

I’ve needed it. She’s the reason I carry on each and every day.

Everyone might call me strange for writing this, but let me tell you

dear reader one thing, I’ve been better with her. She’s my all. God

has brought us together and made it possible for us to stick by each

other through it all. We had a rocky start but god made this all

possible, and nothing else will ever break us apart.
I’d like to share a little something with you all. Something I wrote

about two months ago. I never thought I could write this, but god’s

hand was involved with this, and I’d like to share it with you all.
Begin poem.
True relationships never really die
And family isn’t defined by blood
It’s made strong by bonds that won’t break
Tempered and tested by trials and pain
what you mean to me is more than words can describe
you’ve been loyal to me from the beginning
And no matter what happens between this moment and then
I shall be always thankful to have you in my life.
You’ve been their when I’ve needed someone to talk to
you’ve been their when I’ve needed a hsolder to cry on.
When things got tough, you were always their, ready to help, and assist

me.
You made me see my errors and helped me fix them
you brought me to an understanding that I’ve never had.
You’ve showed me what it means to be loved and what love really means.
It’s not the words or the intimacy that defines what love is.
it’s the closeness, the bond between two people, that make love what

love is.
You’ve showed me what it means to be happy, to have someone who truly

loves me.
When I asked you that day way back when, I expected to be rejected, to

be pushed away because of who I was, what I had done in the past.
Not you. You excepted me for who I was.
You didn’t ask me to change who I was, to change my personality to suit

your needs.
You became my rock, my everything.
You are the reason I continue to carry on through the tough times.
You are the reason I want to get up in the morning.
You are my strength, my shield, my all.
Without you, I don’t know where I’d be.
I love you, and will love you forever and ever.
End poem.
Dear blog reader, as you read through that little piece of writing, I

hope that makes you understand my true feelings for the one I truly

love, and will do whatever it takes, even death, to protect her and

make sure she is cared for. It’s been almost a year for us both, and

it feels like we’ve known each other our entire lives. I’ve shared

things with Rose that I never thought I’d ever share with anyone my

entire life.
This has turned into a long post, but it’s not overyet.
A lot of people have said to me that I’d never be able to succeed in a

relationship, I’d never have someone that cared about me. That is not

true, and if the contents of this entry doesn’t prove that, I don’t

know what will. I’m not going to take anyone’s crap, I’ve worked way

too hard to leave now. I still remember the night, back in February of

2006, and I remember it all like it was yesterday. I still remember

the day in March when things got nasty, and we had to rethink it, it

hurt me, and I thought god had let me down again. As the saying goes,

things have to get worse before they get better. When Rose approached

me in July, and asked me if I wanted to be her boyfriend again, I had

to seriously think about it. I’d been hurt before, and I wasn’t ready

to be hurt again. I took two weeks and thought, and praid about it. I

asked god to guide me in what to do, and he has done so. We’re

together, and I’m not leaving, ever! I’ve said it before, and I’ll

continue to say so time and time again. I love that girl to pieces and

I’d do anything to make her happy, whatever it took. Those who know me

well, know that when I say something, I mean it. When I say I’m going

to be here, and you can count on me, and I would do anything to save

and protect someone, you can bet your ass that I mean it! When it

comes to things like this I don’t joke around. I’ve already delt with

one loser who decided to screw with me and my relationship. They were

dealt with harshly, and lord help him if he ever screws with me and my

girl, again! If he does, so help me god, it’ll be the last thing he

ever does! This isn’t very nice of me, but if I have to kill him to

protect hir, I will! I really hope he learned his lesson the last

time, so it won’t have to come to that, but if it does, then so be it!

I’d rather see him dead then hurt the one I’ve sworn to protect and

charish. We may not be married, but you can bet your paycheck that if

we have our way, it’s going to happen.
We’ve already discussed the matter, grin, and it’s what we want. What

else can I say folks, besides what’s already been said here. It’s

reality and that’s life. I’m not going to leave just because crap gets

rough. That’s not me, and anyone who knows me at all should know that

by now. If you don’t then, I’m sorry to say you are officially stupid

and demented in the head. I know your all probably calling me stupid

because of the length of this post and your probably calling me stupid

for me writing my feelings about the one I love. Well, to bad for you,

it’s my blog, and I’ll write about whatever I feel like. You can like

it or lump it. No matter, it’s my blog and I’ll write about what I

want to write about and if you don’t like it, well, then you can just

shove off. I’ve really got nothing else to say.
Before I go, let me just say one more thing.
I thank god each and every day for the people in my life. I thank him

for bringing me and Rose together and keeping us together through it

all. I thank him for people like Kelly, Kevin, hailey, Emily, and

everyone else who has stuck by us both and givin the both of us support

and advice when we’ve needed it. Without you guys, I’m not sure where

I’d be.
Their hav been times where I’ve wanted to just give up on god and the

whole relationship thing, but something told me to stick it out, and

one day I’d find someone. And boy was everyone rright on the money!

Not everyone are complete jerks, and their are people that give a crap.

in this world.
Rose hasnt’ cared about my differences. She excepts me for who I am.

She doesn’t ask me to change to suit her needs and wants, and I don’t

expect her to change for me. When their’s a problem we sit and talk it

out and not fight over it. I’ve learned that I don’t have to be scared

to bring situations to her attention, and I’m thankful for that

comfort.
Well, that’s all I have to right.
Thanks all.
May the lord bless you and keep you safe.
May heaven smile upon you, and with you I am praying.
Until next time folks.

>Hello everyone. It’s been awhile since I’ve posted an actual blog post. Over a month I believe. A lot has happened over these past months.
This is going to be one long post, so sit back and enjoy! My company shaneD.net hosting services endured two server attacks witch we recovered nicely from. While dealing with those, my relationship with

rose took a turn for the better. I finally got up the courage to tell

my parents about rose and myself and our plans to move in together. To

my astonishment and joy, both parents were supportive of me 100%. They

really wanted to meet Rose, so I started putting things in place for

Rose to come over for the Christmas Holidays. After a few setbacks

regarding transportation, as of Monday, Rose is going to spend the

Christmas holidays at my house! I’m happy to say Rose will finally

have a christmas holiday to remember for the rest of her life. The

past two years for her have been hell at Christmas time, and I vowed

that this year would be different, and I’m proud to say I’ve been able

to make that happen! We’ve had some crap from the school

administration, but persistance has paid off and the school is finally

understanding that this relationship is much much more than a game.

I’m not playing around, I’m dead serious about this relationship, and

no matter what I am told, I will be their until the death do us part.

This is god’s will, and god’s calling for me to be apart of this

wonderful girl’s life, and I thank god every waking moment for her.

She’s the joy in my life. She’s been my rock when I’ve needed someone.

She’s picked me up when I’ve hit rock bottom. She’s kicked my ass when

I’ve needed it. She’s the reason I carry on each and every day.

Everyone might call me strange for writing this, but let me tell you

dear reader one thing, I’ve been better with her. She’s my all. God

has brought us together and made it possible for us to stick by each

other through it all. We had a rocky start but god made this all

possible, and nothing else will ever break us apart.
I’d like to share a little something with you all. Something I wrote

about two months ago. I never thought I could write this, but god’s

hand was involved with this, and I’d like to share it with you all.
Begin poem.
True relationships never really die
And family isn’t defined by blood
It’s made strong by bonds that won’t break
Tempered and tested by trials and pain
what you mean to me is more than words can describe
you’ve been loyal to me from the beginning
And no matter what happens between this moment and then
I shall be always thankful to have you in my life.
You’ve been their when I’ve needed someone to talk to
you’ve been their when I’ve needed a hsolder to cry on.
When things got tough, you were always their, ready to help, and assist

me.
You made me see my errors and helped me fix them
you brought me to an understanding that I’ve never had.
You’ve showed me what it means to be loved and what love really means.
It’s not the words or the intimacy that defines what love is.
it’s the closeness, the bond between two people, that make love what

love is.
You’ve showed me what it means to be happy, to have someone who truly

loves me.
When I asked you that day way back when, I expected to be rejected, to

be pushed away because of who I was, what I had done in the past.
Not you. You excepted me for who I was.
You didn’t ask me to change who I was, to change my personality to suit

your needs.
You became my rock, my everything.
You are the reason I continue to carry on through the tough times.
You are the reason I want to get up in the morning.
You are my strength, my shield, my all.
Without you, I don’t know where I’d be.
I love you, and will love you forever and ever.
End poem.
Dear blog reader, as you read through that little piece of writing, I

hope that makes you understand my true feelings for the one I truly

love, and will do whatever it takes, even death, to protect her and

make sure she is cared for. It’s been almost a year for us both, and

it feels like we’ve known each other our entire lives. I’ve shared

things with Rose that I never thought I’d ever share with anyone my

entire life.
This has turned into a long post, but it’s not overyet.
A lot of people have said to me that I’d never be able to succeed in a

relationship, I’d never have someone that cared about me. That is not

true, and if the contents of this entry doesn’t prove that, I don’t

know what will. I’m not going to take anyone’s crap, I’ve worked way

too hard to leave now. I still remember the night, back in February of

2006, and I remember it all like it was yesterday. I still remember

the day in March when things got nasty, and we had to rethink it, it

hurt me, and I thought god had let me down again. As the saying goes,

things have to get worse before they get better. When Rose approached

me in July, and asked me if I wanted to be her boyfriend again, I had

to seriously think about it. I’d been hurt before, and I wasn’t ready

to be hurt again. I took two weeks and thought, and praid about it. I

asked god to guide me in what to do, and he has done so. We’re

together, and I’m not leaving, ever! I’ve said it before, and I’ll

continue to say so time and time again. I love that girl to pieces and

I’d do anything to make her happy, whatever it took. Those who know me

well, know that when I say something, I mean it. When I say I’m going

to be here, and you can count on me, and I would do anything to save

and protect someone, you can bet your ass that I mean it! When it

comes to things like this I don’t joke around. I’ve already delt with

one loser who decided to screw with me and my relationship. They were

dealt with harshly, and lord help him if he ever screws with me and my

girl, again! If he does, so help me god, it’ll be the last thing he

ever does! This isn’t very nice of me, but if I have to kill him to

protect hir, I will! I really hope he learned his lesson the last

time, so it won’t have to come to that, but if it does, then so be it!

I’d rather see him dead then hurt the one I’ve sworn to protect and

charish. We may not be married, but you can bet your paycheck that if

we have our way, it’s going to happen.
We’ve already discussed the matter, grin, and it’s what we want. What

else can I say folks, besides what’s already been said here. It’s

reality and that’s life. I’m not going to leave just because crap gets

rough. That’s not me, and anyone who knows me at all should know that

by now. If you don’t then, I’m sorry to say you are officially stupid

and demented in the head. I know your all probably calling me stupid

because of the length of this post and your probably calling me stupid

for me writing my feelings about the one I love. Well, to bad for you,

it’s my blog, and I’ll write about whatever I feel like. You can like

it or lump it. No matter, it’s my blog and I’ll write about what I

want to write about and if you don’t like it, well, then you can just

shove off. I’ve really got nothing else to say.
Before I go, let me just say one more thing.
I thank god each and every day for the people in my life. I thank him

for bringing me and Rose together and keeping us together through it

all. I thank him for people like Kelly, Kevin, hailey, Emily, and

everyone else who has stuck by us both and givin the both of us support

and advice when we’ve needed it. Without you guys, I’m not sure where

I’d be.
Their hav been times where I’ve wanted to just give up on god and the

whole relationship thing, but something told me to stick it out, and

one day I’d find someone. And boy was everyone rright on the money!

Not everyone are complete jerks, and their are people that give a crap.

in this world.
Rose hasnt’ cared about my differences. She excepts me for who I am.

She doesn’t ask me to change to suit her needs and wants, and I don’t

expect her to change for me. When their’s a problem we sit and talk it

out and not fight over it. I’ve learned that I don’t have to be scared

to bring situations to her attention, and I’m thankful for that

comfort.
Well, that’s all I have to right.
Thanks all.
May the lord bless you and keep you safe.
May heaven smile upon you, and with you I am praying.
Until next time folks.

Hello everyone,
Just a short post to say that I’m still around, and I’ll be posting a longer update when time permits.
I’m writing it now, but don’t want to post it until it’s complete.
Talk to you all soon.

>Hello everyone,
Just a short post to say that I’m still around, and I’ll be posting a longer update when time permits.
I’m writing it now, but don’t want to post it until it’s complete.
Talk to you all soon.

Hey all,
First of all, what is mentioned here is aimed at a spicific individual, and not adam, for a change.
She reads this blog, and since this individual won’t listen to me on the phone or by e-mail, I’m going to put it here, where I am sure to be read, not just by her, but by a lot of people.
Your all probably wondering what’s up with the title for my post.
Why would I title a post what I titled it?
Well, for one, this is my blog, and I can title posts whatever I like, and for two, my X, niki, who used to be a huge part of the penny drive, the committie at our school that raises money for McMaster Children’s hospital, basically said in an e-mail, I’m still apart of the committie, and you have to listen to what I have to say, and if you don’t I’m going to shut the committie down.
Let’s see, what gives you the authority MS. Hotshot to say things like that. You turned control over to Rose, and we don’t need your flat nose in our affairs.
I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but we can run the committie just fine without you.
You turned control over to rose, complete control, and that’s the way it is going to stay.
We don’t need you, and francly, we don’t want you either.
You were the one who caused most of the problems with brauling last year. You pushed your weight around, bossed us around, and the committie nearly fell apart last year because of you and your bossiness
I’m not going to say their weren’t others causing issues, we all took part at one time or another, but you seemed to always be at the head of it.
The committie has already said we don’t want you bossing us around this year, and we can and will do this with or without your help.
You can’t boss us around, sure you may be on the list, but you are an advising member. Get that straight, advising member, not full member, advising member.
So that means you have some say, but the final say comes down to the committie and if we say no, then no is the way it will be and you will just have to deal with it.
You have to remember one thing, you’ve lost trust in a lot of people, not just me, I’m not going to speak for everyone reading this, but you’ve broken trust, and you’ve done it by hurting me the way you did. You made me feel worthless, and made me cry on a number of occasions with your actions and with what you said to me, and the way you treated me when I tried to talk to you about things and explain my side of things to you regarding certain issues.
I know everyone hates drama and long drawn out things so I won’t go into details.
Nikki, you aren’t going to earn my trust back overnight, and pushing your weight around with this committie isn’t going to help, it’s just going to make me distrust you more.

So, all I am going to say to you Nikki is back off, and let us do our work.
We’ve got ajob to do, and with you shoving your crap in our faces, we can’t do our job properly.
If you continue to persist, I will bring it to the head of the committie and have you removed perminantly from all aspects of this committie, and we will continue on our own without you. And if you want my opinion, we could do a heck of a better job without you, thank you very much.
if you ask me, We accomplished more in the first meeting, then we ever did last year in all the meetings we had. We had no brauling, no fights, we were civil about things, and we got a lot done without you their! Wow! We actually don’t need you, can you believe that? I’m sorry if that hurts your eago, but that’s just too bad! It’s a part of life, and you’ll just have to deal with it! You’re not always needed, and you’ll just have to suck it up!
Now quit being a baby and we’ll all be happy.
Thanks all for reading, and i do apologize for that, but I had to say what I had to say.
If you have thoughts on what I wrote here, feel free to comment.
I’ll post later on.
everyone have a blessed, geezus filled day.

>Hey all,
First of all, what is mentioned here is aimed at a spicific individual, and not adam, for a change.
She reads this blog, and since this individual won’t listen to me on the phone or by e-mail, I’m going to put it here, where I am sure to be read, not just by her, but by a lot of people.
Your all probably wondering what’s up with the title for my post.
Why would I title a post what I titled it?
Well, for one, this is my blog, and I can title posts whatever I like, and for two, my X, niki, who used to be a huge part of the penny drive, the committie at our school that raises money for McMaster Children’s hospital, basically said in an e-mail, I’m still apart of the committie, and you have to listen to what I have to say, and if you don’t I’m going to shut the committie down.
Let’s see, what gives you the authority MS. Hotshot to say things like that. You turned control over to Rose, and we don’t need your flat nose in our affairs.
I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but we can run the committie just fine without you.
You turned control over to rose, complete control, and that’s the way it is going to stay.
We don’t need you, and francly, we don’t want you either.
You were the one who caused most of the problems with brauling last year. You pushed your weight around, bossed us around, and the committie nearly fell apart last year because of you and your bossiness
I’m not going to say their weren’t others causing issues, we all took part at one time or another, but you seemed to always be at the head of it.
The committie has already said we don’t want you bossing us around this year, and we can and will do this with or without your help.
You can’t boss us around, sure you may be on the list, but you are an advising member. Get that straight, advising member, not full member, advising member.
So that means you have some say, but the final say comes down to the committie and if we say no, then no is the way it will be and you will just have to deal with it.
You have to remember one thing, you’ve lost trust in a lot of people, not just me, I’m not going to speak for everyone reading this, but you’ve broken trust, and you’ve done it by hurting me the way you did. You made me feel worthless, and made me cry on a number of occasions with your actions and with what you said to me, and the way you treated me when I tried to talk to you about things and explain my side of things to you regarding certain issues.
I know everyone hates drama and long drawn out things so I won’t go into details.
Nikki, you aren’t going to earn my trust back overnight, and pushing your weight around with this committie isn’t going to help, it’s just going to make me distrust you more.

So, all I am going to say to you Nikki is back off, and let us do our work.
We’ve got ajob to do, and with you shoving your crap in our faces, we can’t do our job properly.
If you continue to persist, I will bring it to the head of the committie and have you removed perminantly from all aspects of this committie, and we will continue on our own without you. And if you want my opinion, we could do a heck of a better job without you, thank you very much.
if you ask me, We accomplished more in the first meeting, then we ever did last year in all the meetings we had. We had no brauling, no fights, we were civil about things, and we got a lot done without you their! Wow! We actually don’t need you, can you believe that? I’m sorry if that hurts your eago, but that’s just too bad! It’s a part of life, and you’ll just have to deal with it! You’re not always needed, and you’ll just have to suck it up!
Now quit being a baby and we’ll all be happy.
Thanks all for reading, and i do apologize for that, but I had to say what I had to say.
If you have thoughts on what I wrote here, feel free to comment.
I’ll post later on.
everyone have a blessed, geezus filled day.